Archive: February, 2010

February 23, 2010

How to make your relationship a priority.

In the beginning of a relationship we see fireworks and have butterflies.  We stay up late talking and laughing and sometimes we wake up in the middle of the night just to make love.  As time goes on, things change.  Feelings often deepen, however life happens.  And people yearn for the passion and romance of those early days.  I liken it to a shiny new toy on Christmas morning.  In the beginning it is new and exciting and as time goes on we become accustomed to it.  We still love it, but it’s not new and thrilling anymore.

The reality is that if you want your relationship to be a priority, then you have to do something about it.  I talked about this very topic on “Keep It Local.”  

What if you want to make your relationship a priority, but your partner doesn’t?  Well, tune in to “Keep It Local” on Wednesday at 4pm.  That’s the very think I’ll be talking about!

Filed under: Relationship, Romance — admin @ 5:53 am

February 10, 2010

A Single Person’s Guide to Surviving Valentine’s Day

love-pen-bed-drinking

Valentine’s Day can be tough.  Partners can feel expectations and disappointment (here is a link to the segment I did on getting on the same page as your partner for Valentine’s Day).  And on this “day for lovers” single folks can feel longing or loneliness.

If you are single on Valentine’s Day – you don’t have to spend your time at home feeling sad.  You can use this time to focus on yourself rather than another person.  What would it be like to celebrate yourself?

Here are a few things you can do on Valentine’s Day?

  • Treat yourself the way you want a lover to treat you – Do you want a fancy dinner, a new piece of jewelry, a massage or a lovely bath?  What’s stopping you from having those things?   If you are single, you still deserve to feel special and good about yourself.  Why not write a love letter to yourself?  Or go buy a new toy for some special “alone time.”
  • Spend time with someone you care about – You don’t have to spend the day alone.  You can get together with a friend or a family member.
  • Try a fun event – I did a google search for “single events Valentines Day Portland” and came up with a TON of events.  Valentine’s Day might be a great time to get out in the world and meet someone new.  If you aren’t into the singles scene, you can still do something fun.  In Portland there is plenty to do!  Lots of live music or theatre, or you can check out the Worst Day of the Year Ride or take a class at She Bop (when your girlfriend brags about her amazing dinner you can brag about learning about your G-spot!)

There is no right way to spend Valentine’s Day.  You don’t even have to celebrate it at all.  What you don’t want to do is dread it or feel shame because you don’t have romantic plans.  You can make this Valentine’s Day very special just by celebrating yourself.

Filed under: Dating, Holidays — admin @ 11:26 pm

February 3, 2010

The Perfect Valentine’s Day

pexels-photo-318378

We’ve all heard those “valentine’s day horror stories.”  I remember an acquaintance who really wanted an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day but instead her boyfriend got her an exercise machine.  Never mind that she didn’t get engaged, she also worried that her boyfriend thought she was “fat.”  When your partner doesn’t know about your expectations, it’s possible to “miss” each other.  It’s important to be on the same page about your Valentine’s Day Expectations.

Tips for getting on the same page -

  • Talk about your expectations – If you want a fancy dinner out, it’s important to say so.  If you don’t, you might end up on the couch with take out.
  • Plan your “date” together (that may mean compromise) – If your idea of romance is dinner and roses and your partner would like to spend Valentine’s Day trying out Karma Sutra positions, you may have to compromise.  Does that mean you don’t get your dinner?  Absolutely not, there is room for both ideas (if not on Valentine’s Day then maybe two different nights that week).
  • Celebrate Valentine’s Day more than once a year – Do you need to save up all of your romance and “I love yous” for one day a year?  No way!  Often when partners express affection year round, “Valentine’s Day expectations” are less intense.

Do you have to celebrate Valentine’s Day?  Of course not.  However, if your partner would really like to and you ignore her requests, she may feel disappointed.  I knew a guy who said, “I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  I believe it should be Valentine’s Day, every day!”  I remember thinking that was romantic and really sweet.  That was until I got to see how he treated his wife.  I quickly discovered that that was not the case.  It was not Valentine’s Day in their house every day (nor was it Valentine’s Day on February 14th!)  Don’t kid yourself (or your partner).  If you don’t believe in Valentine’s Day, that’s fine.  If you are just too lazy to celebrate, that’s a different story.

If you have a strong idea of how you would like to spend Valentine’s Day, it’s time to tell your partner.  The only way you can get what you want, is to ask for it!

Filed under: Holidays, Intimacy, Relationship, Romance — admin @ 11:00 pm