Ask for what you want in the bedroom.

July 14th, 2010 by admin in Intimacy, Relationship, Sexuality
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Is there something you want that you aren’t getting or experiencing sexually?  Is it hard to ask for what you want?

You can start by just checking in with your partner about sex.  Have a conversation that starts with “I loved it when you ______ last night.”  or “The other night was really sexy, what did you think of it?”  And then ask your partner if there is anything he wants to try.  Then share if there is something you would like.  Have a conversation about your desires.

If you are asking for something that might be tender for your partner (more foreplay, longer lasting intercourse) start with a compliment.  “I love making love with you AND I think it would be really sexy if we could have more foreplay.”

If the idea of having a whole conversation about sex feels too hard or embarrassing for you, then practice asking for something else.  Ask for something small.  Ask for a kiss or a hug or a foot massage.  And then when that becomes easier, you can add sexual desires to the conversation.

We talked about this topic on Studio6.

On the video I talk about creating a fantasy box with your partner.  You can each write a few sexual things you would like to try and put them in a box.  Then when you are ready to be intimate, take turns pulling them out of the box and make your fantasies come true!

One Response to “Ask for what you want in the bedroom.”

  1. Fantasy: Fact or Fiction Says:

    […] powerful experience.  If you would like to try something new with your partner, I highly recommend talking about it.  I also recommend reading Getting the Sex You Want.  In particular, chapter 6 goes into detail […]