Life after a break up. How to recover and move on with your life.
People often wonder, how long should it take to get over a break up? If only I knew the magic number I could get through it and get on with my life.
There are a few things that can impact the length of time it takes for you to move on:
The length of the relationship
The depth of the relationship
How much you typically get attached to people (do you get really connected to people? If so, you might need a little more time.)
There is not a certain amount of time that it “should” take, but there are things you can do to make it easier.
Let yourself mourn. It is a loss and you might be sad or angry or hurt, let yourself feel these emotions. Let yourself be comforted by friends. Ask for what you need. Focus on yourself. Do things you used to love but didn’t have time for in your relationship. It’s a great time to start a new hobby or join a group.
As you mourn, don’t get caught up in the fantasy of what your relationship could have been. So often when people are mourning a relationship they are mourning things that weren’t there. For example, “I will miss the vacations we were going to take.”
After you’ve mourned and taken care of yourself then it’s time to look at your last relationship. Be objective. What worked, what didn’t? Once you’ve looked at your past relationship, you then get to look forward. What do you want to be different in the future? Who do you want to be in relationship with and Who Do YOU want to be in that relationship?
Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself time. And when you are ready make a list of what you want in your next relationship or partner. This step is important because you don’t want to repeat patterns or past mistakes. What do you want in your next relationship, your next partner? Put it on paper. When you can look ahead, it’s a good sign that you are ready to move on…
July 20th, 2010 at 5:15 am
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November 14th, 2011 at 10:02 am
[...] Life After a Break-up – Recovering and Moving On [...]