What is sex?

March 7th, 2011 by admin in Intimacy, Sexuality
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Anything that leads to orgasm

Penetration, oral sex or manual stimulation

First you kiss, then have foreplay and then sex

Anything that gives one or more people pleasure

Making love

Intimacy and pleasure combined together

Sexual activity that leads to emotional connection

Ask 100 people, “What is sex?” and you might get 100 answers.  There is no “right” answer.  So why are people so concerned about doing it “right” then?  Why do so many people desire to make sure they are doing what everyone else is doing?  Why all the magazine articles about “hot sex” or “new positions.”

What if I told you that sex, the best sex, is what feels best for you and your partner?  So what if you both like oral sex more than intercourse, you both like it, right?  And it’s OK if you need to use a vibrator to have an orgasm, you are having an orgasm and that is fantastic!  Maybe you like to watch a little porn as foreplay, or your partner likes to be tied up, or maybe you just like plain ole’ missionary style sex with the lights off…that’s all just fine, in fact it’s more than fine if you feel good about it.

What would happen if you stopped trying to live up to someone else’s idea of sex and just did what feels good for you and your partner?  What if you stopped trying to fit into someone else’s model for sex and focused on what feels best for you?  So you like to have an orgasm before intercourse, great!  Maybe you prefer to have simultaneous or mutual orgasms with your partner, if you are able to do that and it feels good for you, great!  Maybe you don’t care about orgasm at all and feel most content with a lot of kissing and some eye gazing, great!

Instead of worrying about how other people have sex…focus on how you want to have sex.  What feels best, most titillating, most sacred, most satisfying, most exciting or most love-filled for you?

One Response to “What is sex?”

  1. Let Your Sex Be as Unique as the Eiffel Tower! Says:

    […] about sex?  It looks different do different people, […]