Who are you as a sexual being?

March 28th, 2011 by admin in Sexual Being, Sexuality
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If you connect with me on facebook or twitter you probably know that this topic has been on my mind a lot lately!  This week I did a segment on Studio 6 talking about discovering who you are a sexual being.  I’m starting to work on my book about this theme (there is still time to take my survey, be sure to get in there by April 6th).  I’m also preparing for a workshop called “Who Are You As a Sexual Being?.  I think this topic is so important because who you are as a sexual being is the basis of sexuality.  Who you are sexually is the basis of your sexual relationship.  It all starts with you.  I say that, but I think that many people deny or bury who they are sexually.  And if you deny who you are sexually, then what is your sexual relationship based on?  I’m also discovering from my survey that many people don’t know who they are sexually.  And if you don’t know who you are, then how can you live your best sexual life?

There are so many things that can get in the way of knowing who you are sexually – shame, lack of sexual education, body image, stress, embarrassment, relationship conflict and much more!  So if you don’t know who you are, it might take a little time to figure it out.  Start tuning in to what you like. What makes you feel good?  What excites you?  What do you fantasize about?  When do you feel your best, your sexiest?  Not just in the bedroom, what makes you feel sexy out in the world?  You have to tune out the outside voices and listen to yourself.   Don’t read books or magazines to tell you what sexy is, ask yourself, “How do I define myself sexually?”  You may discover that you don’t exactly love who you are sexually.  That’s OK, because once you know who you are, then you can build on that.  If you think you aren’t sexual at all, it will be really hard to try something new or kinky in the bedroom.  If you do some soul-searching and realize that who you are sexually is a little timid, and likes being submissive, well then you can find a way to honor that and try something new.  You can ask to be tied up or try a role-play where you get to be submissive.  Knowing who you are sexually is the foundation of your sexual relationship.  If you don’t know who you are or what you like, how can you enjoy your sexual experience?

4 Responses to “Who are you as a sexual being?”

  1. Dear Expectations, Please Take a Hike! Says:

    […] and we sat at an outdoor café soaking up the wonderful sun.  We talked about our lives and the book I’m writing.  It was a perfect way to spend an evening in Paris.  If we hadn’t gotten locked out, it […]

  2. You Don’t Have to be a Sexy Tiger! Says:

    […] If you’ve been visiting this blog for a while, you know I am working on a book about women’s sexuality.  This group is based on the same work.  I made a video to better explain what the group is about […]

  3. Julie Jeske, M.S. Says:

    […] You get to create your own definition of who you are sexually.  Last year I conducted a sexuality survey for women.  I asked if they know who they are sexually (57% of the respondents answered yes).  I also asked […]

  4. Julie Jeske, M.S. Says:

    […] selves.  It all started with an idea for a book about women’s sexuality.  Then I created a survey where I found out that most women don’t know how they are sexually.  Then I went to Paris for 5 […]