Archive: June, 2011

June 30, 2011

Have Vacation Sex Without Leaving Your Home!

beach web

When I ask couples about their last great sexual experience they often say it was on vacation.  There is something about vacation that allows people to open up and let loose.  Gone are the To Do lists, the piles of responsibilities, the routines, the structure.  On vacation people don’t worry about being too loud, too tired or making a mess.  Being on vacation, gives us freedom to be different.

What if you can’t go on an impromptu vacation to improve your sex life?

Here are a few things you can do to have vacation-like sex at HOME!

Set a vacation scene or mood

Do whatever you need to do to your space to make it welcoming and ready for sex!  Get rid of distractions or possible interruptions.  Incorporate scents, colors, certain food or drinks or any other elements that will relax or entice you.  Take the time and make your space exciting!

Get in a vacation mind-set

How are YOU different on vacation?  Are you softer, more easy-going?  Are you more open to connecting and being sexual?  How can you bring those elements into your love-making at home?  What can YOU do to influence your sexual experience at home?

Press the pause button on regular life

Don’t pencil-in sex if  you can’t take your time.  That’s the thing about vacation, we have all the time in the world.  Don’t have sex when you need to be somewhere in 20 minutes.  Don’t try to have vacation-like sex while you are making your grocery list or balancing your checkbook. Set aside enough time so you can slow down, relish your partner and enjoy your time together.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money (or even have to leave your home) to have great sex.  Allow yourself the luxury of time, an enticing space and an open mind and you can go to paradise without leaving your home!

Filed under: Intimacy, Sexuality — admin @ 9:00 am

June 28, 2011

Connecting daily with your partner can go a long way!

Tree heart web

It’s easy to make time for your partner when you have a whole weekend, but what about daily connection?  When you’ve been working or corralling the kids or buried by housework; taking 15 minutes with your mate can feel like a luxury.  Those 15 minutes can go a long way!  Daily connection helps you feel loved, it helps you and your partner create shared expectations and it can diminish feelings of resentment or loneliness.

Get in the habit of checking in each day.  You can use the time when you both meet up at the end of the day (after one or both of you get home from work), use 15 minutes right before bed or first thing in the morning.

Here are some ways you can use your time together –

  • Check in about your day
  • Share your feelings about each other
  • Practice gratitude
  • Go over a few logistics (who is picking the kids up tomorrow or what needs to be purchased at the store) – don’t let your whole 15 minutes be about to do lists, make sure you have time to enjoy each other
  • Connect physically – hug, kiss, hold hands, cuddle
  • Ask for any support you might need
  • Talk about future dates or vacations
  • Say, “I love you.”
  • Have a daily ritual you do together

Connecting daily makes it easy to talk about the good things and also the hard things.  If you are feeling hurt or disappointed, you might have to wait a while to share that information if you aren’t in the habit of daily connection.  Do yourself and your relationship a favor and “connecting with my partner” to your daily schedule!

Filed under: Gratitude, Intimacy, Relationship, Ritual — admin @ 12:09 pm

June 24, 2011

Give Yourself a Permission Slip for Pleasure

sangria web

It’s no secret that my time in Paris has inspired me to cultivate pleasure.  I’ve written about it, made a video about it and this week on Studio 6 I talked about Adding Pleasure to Your Life.  You can see the segment here.

On the show I suggest giving yourself permission for daily pleasure.  Here are some ideas to get you started.

  • Buy yourself your favorite treat at the store
  • Take yourself on a date
  • Get a massage
  • Spend some time outside
  • Read a book or magazine
  • Pamper yourself
  • Buy a fancy dessert and take it home to enjoy
  • Wear a piece of clothing that feels good against your skin
  • Do something you liked to do when you were young (play, dance, laugh, run through sprinklers, go to an arcade, be silly)
  • Open a good bottle of wine “just because”
  • masturbate

My June newsletter is about bringing pleasure into the bedroom.  It hits inboxes Monday.  You can subscribe here.

Pleasure is about enjoying and relishing!  You can find pleasure in big ways (a vacation or a fancy meal) and in small ways (a nice walk or a fresh strawberry).  Look for opportunities for pleasure every day.  Give yourself permission for daily pleasure and notice how that impacts your life.

Filed under: Pleasure, Self-care — admin @ 9:00 am

June 21, 2011

Love and Sex

Before I left Paris I visited the  I Love You Wall.

311 I Love Yous in 250 different languages

311 I Love Yous in 250 different languages

And not too far from there I visited the Musee de l’erotisme.

erotic museum

Sometimes love and sex are talked about as if they don’t co-exist.  Sure you can have love without sex and you can have sex without love.  Put them together – and that is where the magic happens!

I love you wall

Filed under: Love, Paris, Sexuality — admin @ 1:00 pm

June 20, 2011

Paris = Pleasure

Paris

desserts

Famous Desserts and To Die For Macaroons!

Is

waterlilies

Rooms with panoramic views of The Waterlillies at Musée de l'Orangerie

All

Paris Breakfast

Breakfast! Croissant, baguette (butter and jam too), coffee, hot chocolate and OJ

About

We had fresh flowers our entire stay...the flower shops spill out into the street!

We had fresh flowers our entire stay...the flower shops spill out into the street!

Pleasure!

One of the murals at the Moulin Rouge

One of the murals at the Moulin Rouge

Inspired by pleasure (and delicious food!) I created my very last video postcard from Paris!


What is one pleasurable thing you will do for yourself today?

Filed under: Paris, Pleasure, Video — admin @ 3:50 pm

June 17, 2011

Let Your Sex Be as Unique as the Eiffel Tower!

You know what this is, right?

Eiffel web

It’s one of the most recognizable images in the world, right?

eiffel night web

Even when it’s night and it’s a different color, you still know what it is, right?

eiffel from below web

What about sex?  It looks different to different people, right?

eiffel night 2

Slow, fast, soft, rough, loving, lusty – countless adjectives can be used (just like the Eiffel Tower – beautiful, ugly, elaborate, sterile.)  The Eiffel Tower is unique and original.  Why don’t you let your sex be original too?

Filed under: Paris, Sexual Being, Sexuality, Video — admin @ 8:22 am

June 15, 2011

Experience Your Partner Like a Work of Art!

Do you see her?

L'Arc

Look at her strength and power!  The way she just rises up out of the ground and commands your attention!

Arc inside

Look at her delicate details!

Arc curves

Look at her delicious curves!

view from Arc

And the way the world looks through her eyes!

I love the Arc De Triomphe!  I love the way it just sits there at the end of the Champs-Elysees.  I love that I can’t take my eyes off of it.  I made a video postcard comparing the Arc De Triomphe to a lover or partner.  I hope you enjoy it!

Under the Arc De Triomphe you will find the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and an eternal flame.

flame arc

How is your flame for your lover these days?  Still burning?  Does it need a little more fuel?  What needs to happen in order to experience your partner like a work of art?

Filed under: Intimacy, Paris, Relationship, Video — admin @ 11:00 am

June 14, 2011

You Are Beautiful!

I am beautiful web

I am beautiful - Rodin

Ah beauty and vulnerability and strength all swirling together.

Look at the way he lifts her up!  Do you let others lift you like that?  Do you lift others up?

Look at her taking center stage, up in the air, allowing herself to be seen!  Do you let yourself be seen by others?

Look at that trust, she knows she will not fall!  Do you trust that deeply?

Look at that vulnerability and that strength and power.  Do you let yourself be vulnerable?  Do you acknowledge your strength?  Do you channel your power?

The name of this piece is “I Am Beautiful.”  Can you say that out loud?  Can you claim your beauty?  Can you share it with the world?

It is a simple truth.  Your beauty.  I see it.  Do you?

Filed under: Body-Image, Intimacy, Paris, Self-love, Vulnerability — admin @ 9:37 am

June 11, 2011

Cranky in Paris

Auguste Rodin - Despair

Auguste Rodin - Despair

It’s true.  I am in the most romantic city and I am CRANKY!  I don’t know if it’s the rainy weather, my allergies or the knowledge that my trip is ending in a week.  Perhaps I just woke up on the wrong side of my Parisian bed.  Whatever the cause, I feel sluggish and unmotivated and blue.

Here’s what I could do.  I could judge myself. I could shame myself or admonish myself for not being grateful about being in Paris to begin with.  But really, that will only make me feel worse!

In fact, I can be having a cranky day and still feel incredibly grateful for my time in Paris.  I can be grumpy and still love my life.  Both things can be true. Just like you can feel frustrated by your partner and still love him.  You can be angry with someone and still feel compassionate toward him.  You can also feel love for someone and know that it’s not meant to be.  When we try to deny our emotions, we are no longer present.  And part of my experience  in Paris has been focused on being present in my life – whatever that brings.

So I am going to let myself be cranky (a funny thing happens when you just let yourself feel something, it tends to lessen…but try to squelch or deny that feeling and oh boy will it linger!).  I am going to allow myself to be lazy in Paris (even though I only have one week left, even though there are voices in my head or even external voices reminding me to enjoy and relish and savor every minute).  Today I am relishing by acknowledging how I feel.  Today I am savoring by letting myself be cranky in Paris!

Filed under: Paris, Self-care, Self-love — admin @ 7:10 pm

June 10, 2011

Bring a Little Mystery into Your Relationship – Video Postcard from the Louvre

Louvre web

We went to the Louvre to make a video postcard on a picture perfect day!

Louvre pyramid web

Even without going inside the museum, there is a lot to see!

Louvre statues web

The Louvre is one of the most famous museums in the world.  There are so many wonderful works of art inside, it was hard to narrow it down…but I knew what I wanted to talk about.

Being mysterious is not the same as keeping secrets from your partner.  Think of mystery as a way to titillate and excite your partner.  What are some small ways you can surprise or intrigue your partner this weekend?

Filed under: Paris, Relationship, Sexuality, Video — admin @ 8:35 am

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