Focus on Your Relationship this Holiday Season!

December 20th, 2011 by admin in Holidays, Marriage, Relationship, Ritual
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Christmas Couple

Amidst all of the holiday hustle and bustle your relationship may have gotten lost in the shuffle.  It’s easy to focus on shopping lists and to do list this time of year.  If you have a to do list, take a moment to write “Focus on my relationship” right on the very tip top so you can be sure you don’t forget about your partner.

Here are some ways to make sure you put some attention on your partner this season.

  • Create a holiday ritual – You may each have holiday traditions that came from your families of origin.  Perhaps you keep those holiday rituals going.  Now is a great time to create your own tradition or ritual.  I know a couple who bought an advent calendar years ago.  It has 24 boxes in it.  One person fills the odd days with gifts and the other fills the even days with gifts.  It’s an inexpensive, and fun way to focus on their relationship during the holidays.  Not only are they on the prowl for small gifts for each other (which means they are on each others minds), they also spend time opening our advent calendar together each morning before the chaos of the day begins.
  • If you are exchanging gifts, put some thought into yours – Do you scour every store for the perfect presents for your kids?  Do you put hours into picking out the best gift for your mother?  What about your partner?  You don’t have to spend a lot of money to let your mate know you care.
  • Stay on the same team – The holidays can bring stress, exhaustion, illness (those darn winter colds or flu) and fighting!  Whether it’s money, gift giving, family stress or the cat knocking over the Christmas tree (Again!) – your partner is not your enemy.  One way to keep the peace (and keep stress at bay) is to remember you are on the same team.  How can you get through the holidays as a unit, rather than opposing forces?
  • Make time for the two of you – Are you making time for parties, pageants, shopping, baking, decorating and wrapping?  What about making time for your partner?  Schedule a date night (holiday themed or not).  Or take a little time to sip some eggnog and cuddle up after you put the kids to bed.  If you resemble the Tasmania devil during the holiday season, it might feel extra hard to stop and connect with your lover.  Stop, put the wrapping paper down, wash the flour off your hands and focus on your relationship (even if it’s just for a few minutes).

This holiday season comes once a year.  Make sure you keep that in perspective.  While you may have huge expectations and a mile long to do list, what is more important – The holiday season?  Or your long-term relationship?

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