I’ll have a blue christmas without you!

December 9th, 2011 by admin in Emotions, Family, Grief, Holidays, Relationship, Self-care, Support
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Sad during the holidaysFor many the holidays are a time of joy, frivolity and celebration.  For others, this time of cheer and mistletoe really brings home feelings of loneliness or grief.

The holiday season can be really hard if you’ve recently gone through a break up. Cozy evenings, holiday parties and fantasies about special gifts you were going to exchange might make you miss your ex even more.

The holidays can be hard if you have been single for a while and really want to be partnered. Seeing couples connecting over a mug of cocoa (or eggnog) might really highlight how lonely you feel.

This time of year can feel unbearable if you are grieving the loss of a loved one or have a sick family member. You may find your thoughts consumed by memories of past holidays.  Or your heart may be breaking as you realize new memories won’t be created this year.  If you may be losing someone in the next year, you may be trying to “make” this the best holiday ever!

If you are struggling with sadness this holiday season, you are not alone (even though you may feel like it!)  The holidays can be very hard for many people.

Here are some ways to cope.

  • Get some support! Talk to a therapist, friend, family member or pastor.  Join a support group.  Talk with someone who has experienced a similar loss.  Make sure you are expressing your feelings.
  • Find some comfort! What would make you feel even a tiny bit better?  Get a massage.  Buy yourself a special gift.  Create new rituals for yourself.
  • Have realistic expectations. If you are struggling this holiday season, it probably won’t be the best holiday ever!  It’s OK to have ups and downs.  Can you just show up each day and see what happens?
  • Choose when to stay home and when to participate. If going to your friend’s holiday party will only make you feel more alone, let yourself stay home.  On the other hand, if staying home for the 7th time this week is going to make you feel horribly lonely, go out!
  • Don’t force yourself to be cheery and don’t force yourself to be miserable. Let yourself feel your feelings!  You may be sad and that’s OK.  You may also be surprised at how cheery you feel (even when you are grieving).  That’s OK too.

Take extra care of yourself if the holidays are hard.  Practicing self-care can help.  Even if you feel alone, you don’t have to be lonely.  Get the support you need.

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