Archive: October, 2012

October 30, 2012

Can you change your partner?

Do you want your partner to change?

I often hear from people who are wishing their partner would change in some way.

Maybe they want more romance, more help around the house, more passion, more confidence.  Maybe they want less fighting, less criticism, less anger, less disappointment.

We talked about this topic on KOIN Studio6. Mackenzie Phillips was a special guest for the segment.

Is it possible to change your partner?

Some people think they can if they nag or pester enough.  Some people partner and then think, ‘If I hold out long enough, he could become the person I want him to be.’

Change is hard.  It’s hard enough to change personally…but trying to get another person to change is nearly impossible.  Someone really has to want that change (and then it’s still hard).  It can help to focus on behaviors rather than personal traits (i.e. “I would love it if you could take the garbage out each week” rather than, “Stop being so lazy!”).

You CAN change the way you experience your partner.  You CAN change your expectations.  You CAN learn to accept your partner (ALL of him/her).  Change is hard (if it wasn’t then there wouldn’t be any unhealthy habits or situations in the world).  It’s much easier to focus on your life and your situation rather than trying to change another person.  If you find yourself in a frustrating situation, ask yourself, “How can I make this better?” rather than waiting on someone else.

Filed under: Change,Relationship,Video — admin @ 5:58 pm

October 28, 2012

Wild, Free, Beautiful YOU!

I am so excited to be a part of this online event for women!  Wild, Free, Beautiful You starts tomorrow.

Ladies, if you:

  • need a little help focusing on yourself
  • want to live your best life
  • are ready to ignite your passion
  • want to embrace yourself, fully
  • are ready to find your inner goddess
  • want to treat yourself like the precious gift that you are

you don’t want to miss this event.  Reserve your spot here.

And best of all, it’s FREE!  (well that’s not the best thing about this telesummit…the best part is all of the great great info, but it sure helps that it’s free).

I hope you’ll join me on this journey.

Filed under: Change,Live Your Best Life,Self-care,Self-love — admin @ 9:18 pm

October 20, 2012

It’s OK to slow down!

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie Break

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie Break

Have you noticed that people are proud of how stressed, busy, sleep-deprived they are?  I remember when I worked an office job and people would boast about “only getting 5 hours of sleep” or “working 12 hours yesterday.”  And then others would respond with, “You think that’s bad?  I only got 4 hours!” or “I worked 15 hours!”

When did being busy become cool?  When did being sick or tired or unhappy become hip?  And why are we competing to talk about being the sickest, most tired or most stressed?

You may have read this article, “The ‘Busy’ Trap” when it made the rounds this summer.  I love what the author has to say.

Are you over-scheduling yourself?

Are you using your busy schedule to define who you are?

What happens if you slow down and sit still?  What if you were to unplug, quiet down, reflect?

And why the hell do we put so much value on a packed schedule?

How you ARE is much more important that what you DO.

Getting a full night’s sleep is healthy, not wimpy.

Knowing when to clock out of work is a good thing, not a weakness.

If you feel the need to fill up your calendar, make sure you schedule some time for yourself.

I think Autumn is a wonderful time to slow down.

  • Spend a day in your pjs
  • Cuddle up on the couch with a book or a movie
  • Enjoy a warm beverage or some baked goods
  • Go on a walk and collect leaves
  • Take a nap
  • Do nothing
  • Take a drive and enjoy the scenery

Slowing down doesn’t mean you are lazy (and if you are lazy today, is that really such a bad thing?)

Here are a few other ways you can slow down –

Treat Yourself Like a Precious Gift

Treat Your Body Well

Filed under: health,Live Your Best Life,Self-care,Self-love — admin @ 1:43 pm

October 14, 2012

Being a mother and a sexual being…

I’m thrilled to share that I was interviewed for a new book!  Mastering the Mommy Track: Juggling Career and Kids in Uncertain Times is a book from moms who are trying to find more balance and lead full lives. According to the author, “My book offers insight that will help working moms improve their personal lives and careers. It is a juggling act to balance home and work duties, and for a lot of women in 2012, it’s a walk on a tightrope–a fear their families will never experience the rewards (vacation, travel, time off) they so rightfully deserve.”

Does that tightrope familiar?

I contributed to the chapter on romance.  I hear from so many women who have a really hard time finding room for romance and intimacy once a baby arrives.  It is not impossible to be a mother and a sexual being…however it does take energy, flexibility and sometimes planning.  Having a baby impacts your life…it also impacts your relationship.  Things change after having a baby.  Your body changes after having a baby.   If you are trying to have the same kind of sex that you had “pre-baby,” you might be disappointed.  That doesn’t mean you can’t have sex and it doesn’t mean it can’t be great.

It’s important to put energy into being intimate with your partner.  It’s important to connect with your “new-ish” body.  It’s important to acknowledge where you are now and to discover what works for you now.  You can certainly reclaim romance and reclaim your sexuality after having a baby, just know that it will probably be different than it was before…and that’s OK.  It’s also OK if it feels difficult to be sexual at times.  It’s OK if you are tired or busy at times.  Be gentle with yourself.  As a mom and a sexual being (and many other roles) you may often feel like you are being pulled in many directions.  At the same time, notice when you are letting yourself coast on excuses.

You will have to put energy into your role as a mother (there is a little person depending on you).  Also put energy into your relationship with your partner and your relationship with yourself.

Need a little inspiration for romance?  Check out –

Being Romantic – Let me count the ways…

Romance Isn’t for Sissies!

Small ways to say, “I love you!”

Looking for some guidance when it comes to connecting with your sexuality?  Look at –

Be your own best lover.

Sexuality as a moving target

Embrace your sexual dichotomies

You are NEVER too old for some sex education!

October 7, 2012

Be Yourself and Find True Love

  • Where are the best places to meet someone?
  • How can you find true love?
  • Is there a soulmate out there for everyone?

Two years ago I did a segment on KOIN Studio 6 for single people looking to meet someone.

During the segment I suggested people be themselves.  I advised again pretending to be someone you aren’t or pretending to like something you aren’t interested in.  I even suggested that your quirky traits might be the very thing someone loves about you one day.

I’m posting this segment today because the single producer that is talked about on the show is getting married.  I don’t know if her husband adores her Vicks vapor rub or her knee high stockings.  But I do know that he adores her. I know that they are very happy.  And my belief is that if you are true to yourself you will find someone you loves you for it.


Hooray for being yourself!                                                          Hooray for true love!

Filed under: Dating,Love,Relationship — admin @ 9:25 pm

October 4, 2012

Reunited and it feels so good!

Autumn Office

I am back in my office this week.

I had a great maternity leave and feel blessed that I was able to take time off as a self-employed person.

I’m excited to be working with clients again and I’m also excited to see my baby when I’m done with my clients for the day.

Pregnancy and birth brought a lot of creative energy into my life and I’m super excited about my new projects.

Life is good!

Filed under: Gratitude — admin @ 9:58 pm

October 1, 2012

You can still discover your sexual self!

  • Are you tired of feeling disconnected from sex or your body?
  • Does your partner complain that you have low desire or no interest in sex?
  • Do you feel embarrassed or shy about sex?

no sexy tiger

Today is the first day of my “You Don’t Have to be a Sexy Tiger” online class. I’ve received a couple of requests so I’m  leaving registration open until Friday.
Today the first video was posted for participants. On Wednesday and Friday I will be send out exercises / activities to registrants. On Sunday we will have our first phone call at 11am pacific time. If you register by Friday you will have time to catch up before Sunday’s call.
The beauty of this class is that you can participate on your own time and at your own pace. You can interact with others and get your personal questions answered on the phone call. You can also remain anonymous or sit back and listen if you prefer. And at $15 per week it’s much less expensive than attending therapy or an in person group/class.
You really have no excuses. You don’t have to be a sexy tiger. You deserve to feel healthy, whole and sexual.
Filed under: Sexual Being,Sexy Tiger — admin @ 6:47 pm