Archive: January, 2013

January 30, 2013

Releasing and Embracing

The new year can be a great motivator for “starting over” or “starting fresh!”  I’ve written plenty of posts about intentions for the new year, resolutions for your relationship, ending one year and starting another.  You don’t have to wait until next January 1st to change some behaviors or change your life.

  • Are you holding on to things or behaviors that no longer serve you?
  • Are you carrying guilt, shame, disappointment, embarrassment?
  • Do you wish you could let go of something that is holding you back?

What do you want to release?

And what do you want to invite into your life?

I think it’s important to look at both pieces.  Have you ever known someone who gave up one vice and then picked up another?  I’ve seen people stop drinking and then start smoking or binging on food.  I’ve seen people let go of shame about sex and then start feeling shame about their lack of education.  If there is something you want to unload, what do you want to take up that empty space?  If you want to stop nagging your partner, can you also embrace giving your partner compliments?  If you want to let go of sexual shame, can you embrace physical pleasure?

In a recent women’s group we all wrote down things we want to release  – thoughts, areas of shame, fears, feelings, worries, stresses, behaviors, etc.

We placed these in a bowl and then I burned them.  I think a releasing ritual is a wonderful way to cement your intention.

releasing ritual

We didn’t stop with releasing.  We chose what we want to now embrace and also picked a talisman or small item to carry with us and help us remember.

What do you want to embrace?  What do you want to invite into your life?  And what will help you honor that intention or desire?

It’s great to let of of things that no longer serve you and you might find that you are even more successful if you also find something to fill you up.

Filed under: Change,health,Live Your Best Life,Ritual,Self-care — admin @ 3:00 pm

January 25, 2013

The Beauty in Ordinary Moments

Photo by Laura Bourdow

Photo by Laura Bourdow

It’s easy to notice the “big moments” in life.  It’s easy to wait for or wish for those huge life altering events.  It’s exciting!  Those events make for great stories (or great social media posts).  They can also get in the way of living in the present.

  • Are you missing the special moments in your every day life?
  • Are you overlooking the beauty in ordinary moments?

I’ve been blessed with some pretty great, “big” moments in my life.  I know the exhilaration they produce.  I also know they can be few and far between.  And when it comes down to it, which moments make up more of your existence?  When a relationship ends you may miss some of the big moments (trips or a wedding) but feel real heartbreak as you miss the every day moments (his hands running through your hair, the way she said your name, your evening walks).  When someone we care about dies, we often grieve the loss of the ordinary moments, the habits, the familiar.

Lately I’ve been filled with gratitude for the “small” ordinary moments in my life.

Here are some things I’m appreciating –

  • Marco Polo visits with friends and family
  • D’s hand on my knee
  • Music, creating my own personal soundtrack for how I want to feel in the world
  • The perfect summer peach
  • My morning walk
  • Scented shower gel that transports me to a memory filled with bliss
  • Meeting a friend out for coffee or having a friend over for wine
  • Pausing what I’m doing to watch leaves dance in the wind

My sister took the above photo and I asked her about it.  She shared she was cutting strawberries and noticed every one had a heart inside.  Ah…the beauty in ordinary moments.

What ordinary moments inspire your gratitude?

Are there beautiful every day moments you might be overlooking?

Filed under: Gratitude,Live Your Best Life — admin @ 1:27 pm

January 17, 2013

Are you disconnected from your body?

disconnected body

  • How do you feel in your body?
  • Do you think about your relationship with your body?
  • Are you connected to your body?

I was getting a massage recently and thought about how I “forget” about my back until I’m having body work done.  Sometimes I don’t think about my feet unless they are being pinched by a pair of shoes or sore from walking a great distance.  Do you forget about your body?  Do you ignore the parts of your body you don’t see regularly?  Do you forget about your body parts that aren’t touched often?  Maybe you touch or see your body, but don’t feel connected to it.

If you have an injury or your body isn’t working the way you would like, you might feel disconnected.  If you’ve gone through pregnancy or had a baby, you might feel disconnected.  If you’ve gained or lost weight, you might feel disconnected.  If you don’t like your body or feel shame about your body, you are probably disconnected.  When you look in the mirror, are you surprised by what you see?

Here are some ways to connect with your body –

  • Treat your body well
  • Speak kindly about your body –  what you say about your body influences how you feel about your body
  • Exercise – move your body
  • Get to know your body
  • Get grounded in your body – visualize your entire body and the way it is connected, don’t overlook the parts of your body that you can’t see
  • Embrace your body
  • Masturbate – let your body feel pleasure
  • Connect with your body in the present – it might be hard to let go of the way it used to look or feel or move…connect with your body in the NOW

If you aren’t happy with your body, connecting to it might feel scary or uncomfortable, but it’s worth it!  If you are disconnected from your body, it will be hard to connect physically or sexually with someone else (or yourself).  Being disconnected from your body can be an obstacle to intimacy and vulnerability.  Take a small step toward connecting with your body, today.

**I’m talking with a good friend who is an amazing yoga instructor and a mama and we are discussing creating a group or workshop for mamas who want to reconnect to their bodies.  I’m super excited about!  Stay tuned for more information.  If you want the details delivered right to your inbox, sign up for my newsletter.**

Filed under: Body-Image,Intimacy,Self-care,Self-love — admin @ 4:46 pm

January 7, 2013

Let Yourself Receive

In December, I focused on giving to your partner.  Giving is a great way to help another person feel loved, appreciated and valued.  Giving is an important part  of any relationship.

Sometimes it’s easy to overlook the importance of receiving.  If you don’t allow yourself to receive, you are denying your partner the ability to give to you.  If you reject receiving, you may be rejecting love, appreciation and validation.

Think of how good it feels for you to give.  If you aren’t allowing others to give to you, you are depriving them of that feeling.  If you don’t allow others to give to you, you are denying them that gift.

Does receiving feel daunting?

Does receiving feel selfish?

Here are some ways you can let yourself receive –

  • Receive a compliment – Say “Thank you”
  • Receive sexually – let your partner focus on your pleasure
  • Receive a gift
  • Receive help or assistance
  • Receive a kind gesture
  • Receive love
  • Receive feedback or information from your partner
  • Ask for help (and then receive it)

If receiving feels difficult, start small.  Maybe receiving a large gift feels scary; can you receive a hug or an inexpensive gift?  It’s OK to receive…it’s more than OK; it’s an important part of a reciprocal relationship.

Receiving Flower

Filed under: Receiving,Relationship,Self-love — admin @ 7:19 pm

January 2, 2013

I Resolve to Have More Fun!

Schedule more fun!

How long do your New Year Resolutions usually last?

Do you attempt the same resolutions year after year?

Do you beat yourself up when you “break” your resolutions?

It might be time to rethink your resolutions.

What do you really want this year?

I’m not asking what you think you “should” do.  I’m not asking what you try to do each year.  I’m not asking what your partner wants you to do differently.

What do YOU want?

What will enrich your life?  What will make things more enjoyable?  What do you want to invite into your life?  What do you want to release?

Maybe it’s time to revise traditional resolutions.  Instead of trying to lose weight, exercise or keep your house clean…maybe it’s time for more fun, more rest or striving for contentment.

Here are a few things you might focus on this year –

More laughter

More quiet – relaxation – or calm

Deeper connection – with yourself or loved ones

More flexibility – more “go with the flow”

Less time “plugged in” – This is something I have on my list – I resolve to turn my computer off!

Allowing yourself to receive

Focusing on your health (not just losing weight or eating less).  This includes mental health and sexual health.

Embracing self-love

Cultivating pleasure

What a fun list!

What is on your list?  How will you enrich your life today?

Filed under: Change,Holidays,Self-care — admin @ 8:00 am