Archive: February, 2013

February 24, 2013

Create Rituals for Your Relationship

Mature romantic couple on a bench

Do you have daily rituals?

Maybe you start your day with coffee, do yoga at noon or read your email before bed.

What about rituals for holidays or special occasions?

Maybe you make a special meal for Christmas, create resolutions of New Year’s Day or practice gratitude on Thanksgiving.

What about rituals for your relationship?

Maybe you have a special way to celebrate you anniversary – dinner out, viewing your wedding video or reading letters you wrote to each other on your special day.

What about every day rituals for your relationship?

Do you share meals?  Do you start your day together?  Do you end your day together?

Daily rituals are a wonderful way to feel connected with your partner. Here are a few ways to slow down, check-in and connect even when life is busy.

  • Greet your partner when you come home. Go to your partner when you come through the door. Share a hug, a brief conversation or a kiss.
  • Share mealtimes. Have breakfast or dinner together.
  • Cuddle at the end of the day. Spend some time snuggling on the couch or in bed (this can also be a ritual for starting your day together).
  • Go to bed together. Share a little bit about your day or name a few things for which you are grateful.
  • Be physical every day. A hug, a kiss, some cuddling or some sexual connection – they all go a long way toward feeling connected.

Daily rituals don’t have to be complex or time consuming.  If you have more time on the weekend you can enjoy more lengthy or relaxing rituals.  Commit to Sunday brunch, a weekly date night, or a special walk/outing.  Make your relationship rituals a priority and your partner will feel like a priority.

Filed under: Marriage, Relationship, Ritual — admin @ 9:27 pm

February 15, 2013

Are you trying to control someone else’s feelings?

feel your feelings
  • Don’t be mad.
  • You shouldn’t be upset.
  • Be happy!

When you love someone, it can be uncomfortable to see them hurting.  It can feel hard to see your loved ones sad or angry.  You may want to take their pain away.

There is a difference between being supportive and trying to keep someone from having her feelings.  Our feelings are important.  They give us good information.  Ignoring them won’t make them go away. We need to feel our feelings in order to work through them and move forward.

What happens when someone you love is upset?  How do you react?  If you tell someone not to be mad at you, are you trying to control her feelings?  If you tell someone that things aren’t that bad or they should look on the bright side, what message are you sending?  I’m all for being positive, optimistic and expressing gratitude…I also know we need to feel our feelings.  Can you do both?

Can you validate your loved one?  Can you empathize?  Can you listen?

If you find yourself wanting to control, can you stop and ask yourself about your motivation?  Are you really trying to help?  Or are you uncomfortable with the emotion?  And if you are trying to help, are you sure that bottling her feelings will make her feel better?  Are you sure you know what is best? Is it possible that pain or anger or frustration is something that needs to be experienced at this moment?  It might be uncomfortable and it might be necessary.

The next time you are trying to help, ask your loved one what they need in that moment.  Sometimes having someone witness our feelings can make a world of difference.

Filed under: Emotions, Relationship, Support — admin @ 10:00 am

February 11, 2013

DIY Love

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

How will you celebrate?

Are you stressed about finding the right gift, not having enough money or not quite knowing how to express your love?

How about an easy (and loving) homemade gift?

Create a Memory Jar or Love Bowl for your partner.

My siblings and I created a memory jar for my parents this Christmas.

We wrote down our favorite memories, things we love about them and things we appreciate.  We cut those into small pieces of paper, put them in a jar and added a ribbon.

The finished project looked like this and gave them fun memories to read about and share.

memory jar

You can do a variation on the memory jar by filling it with things you love about your partner, things for which you are grateful or loving quotes.  You can use a pretty bowl, a nice basket or any other container to house your sweet sentiments.

This is an inexpensive and meaningful way to make your valentine feels special.

Filed under: Creativity, Gratitude, Holidays, Love, Relationship, Romance — admin @ 11:34 am

February 1, 2013

Month of Romance

Romance Flower

Hello February!  In two weeks it will be Valentine’s Day.

Do you have something special in mind for your sweetie?  If you celebrate Valentine’s Day, do you also cultivate romance on other days of the year?  I know that in our every day experience it can be hard to find inspiration or ideas about tangible ways you can be romantic.  Inspired by my previous posts 30 Days of Thanks and Month of Giving, I’ve decided to post about romance all month long.

A Month of Romance!

Every day I will post a tip or suggestion for a way you can be romantic.  You can follow every single one and give your lover an entire month of romance, or try some (or even one).  You can find these tips on my twitter or facebook page.

Here are a few other posts to get your revved up and ready for more Romance!

Romance Isn’t for Sissies!

Small Ways to Say “I love you!”

Bring Back the Love Letter.

And here is a post with specific ways you can be romantic in your relationship.

Filed under: Love, Relationship, Romance — admin @ 9:32 am