Archive: April, 2013

April 29, 2013

Sex in the Dark

I am so excited and honored to be answering questions about sex at an event at PCC Cascade Campus on May 7th.

Sex in the Dark

It’s an opportunity to ask any questions about sex and relationships.  I’m thrilled to be able to dispel myths and share information.

How do we learn about sex?

From sexual partners?  From friends?  From family?  From movies?  From books?

There is no shame in getting some sex education.  In fact, that’s one really great way to enhance your sexual relationship.

Sex in the Dark is open to the public.  I’m so excited to be part of this conversation.

Filed under: Sexuality,Workshop — admin @ 12:52 pm

April 26, 2013

Have a date at home

home happy hour

Going out into the world for a date isn’t always practical or possible. Kids, jobs and finances can all be obstacles to going out.

Just because you don’t have the time, money or means for a date outside your home, doesn’t mean you can’t have a wonderful time.

A date at home can be fancy or casual.  You can make food or get it out and bring it home (or skip food all together).  You can include the kids for part of it or wait until they are asleep.

Are your dates at home boring or routine?

Here are some things you can try at home for those nights you can’t get out on the town.

  • Create an outdoor happy hour or picnic
  • Make dinner together
  • Sample some desserts
  • Get take out from your favorite restaurant
  • Recreate a favorite date
  • Cuddle on the couch with pizza and a movie
  • Skip dinner and enjoy a bath, exchange massages or get frisky in the bedroom

Don’t let being homebound keep you from having a date night. Find a way to connect with your special someone at home.

Filed under: Dating,Love,Marriage,Relationship,Romance — admin @ 7:00 am

April 12, 2013

Discover Your Sexuality This Summer

Sexy Tiger

The next round of my online class “You Don’t Have to be a Sexy Tiger: Discover YOUR Sexual Self!” starts June 3rd.

You can find more details about the class here.

Tax Day is right around the corner and I thought I would give you something to look forward to by offering a super deal if you sign up on April 15th.  For one day only, you can sign up for $100 (a $50 savings).

Now you can invest in your sexual future AND make tax day a little sexy! If you don’t sign up on the 15th there is still plenty of time to enroll before the class begins on June 2nd.

April 11, 2013

Saying Goodbye

saying goodbye to dad

After a couple year battle with cancer (with many ups and downs) my father passed away in March.  It’s a strange thing, knowing someone is dying.  I mean, we are all moving toward the end of our lives…but having a terminal illness puts the imminence of death, right in the forefront.  After his diagnosis, I was able to head back to the Midwest and visit many times.  I had time to create new memories with my dad.  I’m thrilled that my dad and my daughter were able to spend a little time together, since he died 7 months after her birth.  I’ve had time to question, journal, talk about my feelings and grieve (even before his death…kind of a pre-grieving).

I’m so grateful for the time we had.

I’m most grateful that I was able to say goodbye.

Saying goodbye to someone you love, is so hard.  It’s not something I’ve had experience with.  Saying goodbye isn’t something that is talked about in polite circles.  In some cases, we avoid saying goodbye.  I’m writing more about this topic in my April Newsletter (subscribe here)…not just about death, but saying goodbye to friends we’ve outgrown or a lover we no longer love…saying goodbye can be tough.

Mid-December my father’s doctors said they didn’t think he had much time left.  I went back to the Midwest to celebrate my daughter’s first Christmas and my father’s last Christmas.  My family assured me they didn’t expect me to come since I was just there in the fall, but I knew I needed to say goodbye.  When I arrived my dad looked great!  He was climbing on a stepladder and decorating the tree.  He was laughing and playing with his grandkids.  I have to admit, my “say goodbye plan” started to teeter a little bit as I began to doubt my dad’s prognosis.  How do you say goodbye to someone who looks healthy and happy?

The trip was grand. Sweet and bitter. Full of holiday traditions, sharing past memories and creating new ones.  The hardest part was trying to figure out when and how to say goodbye.  On the last day of my trip my dad and I planned to sit down and talk after a nurse made a visit to our home.  We were going to talk about logistics, final wishes and I wanted to say goodbye.  That changed when the appointment didn’t go as planned and dad had to go to the hospital.  He assured me he would be back before I had to leave, but that changed too, when he got to the hospital and was admitted.  I wish I could accurately describe the emotion and panic I felt. We had to leave for the airport in one hour, the baby was sleeping and I had a deep need to say goodbye.  I almost talked myself out of that need.  I knew he loved me.  I knew he felt supported and loved by me.  And if I really listened, I knew that I needed to say goodbye.  I felt anxious as my mom drove us to the hospital.  I really didn’t even know what I needed to say.  I didn’t know the exact words.  My dad was quite surprised when we burst into his hospital room.  I was given some time alone with my dad and ended up having the last conversation I will ever have with him (other than a jumbled text message that I saved).

I can’t quite describe what took place.  We talked about death, we talked about living, and we talked about love.  I said goodbye.  I told him how sad I am that he won’t know my daughter and she won’t know him.  There were tears.  There were hugs.  And I said goodbye.  As I think about it or write about that moment, I am still filled with emotion.  It was so powerful.  And then I walked into the brightly lit hospital corridor and I felt lighter.  I felt so content.  I felt such peace.  Still sad, but so present and open and serene.  So right.

Shortly after my dad’s death I was asked if there was anything else I wished I had said.  I am so happy that I can say I feel completely confident and truly resolved about our last moment together. I miss him.  I get sad when I think about the next time I’m with my mom, my siblings, and our kids; and dad isn’t there.  I am also so grateful that I was able to say goodbye.

Filed under: Communication,Family,Grief,Love,Relationship — admin @ 1:32 pm