Archive: July, 2013

July 24, 2013

Romance, Cherish and Love Yourself!

romance yourself

Are you saving all of your love or positive energy for someone else?

  • Are you holding on to a special bottle of wine?
  • Are you waiting to wear (or even buy) your sexy underwear?
  • Are you saving those yummy candles for just the right event?
  • Are you waiting to try that fabulous restaurant?

What if while you are waiting the wine goes bad?

What if while you a waiting the candles lose their scent or melt?

What if the restaurant comes and goes?

What if you could enjoy things now AND still find ways to celebrate and enjoy future moments?

I LOVE having rituals and special events and things to look forward to. I also love savoring the present moment. Can you do both?

Are you are waiting for someone else to romance, cherish or love you? How does that feel? Are you lonely? Resentful? Biding your time?

It’s OK to want someone to share your life with – and still love yourself in the meantime.

It’s OK to be in a relationship and still romance yourself.

When you cherish yourself, you are welcoming others to cherish you as well.

Make a list of 10 way you can romance, cherish or love yourself (tangible things you can do). If you are stuck, think of things you would like someone else to do for you or things you would do for someone you love. And then place the list where you can see it regularly. Start doing things on your list. And add things to your list and you identify more.

Make yourself a priority!

Filed under: Love,Romance,Self-love — admin @ 1:32 pm

July 19, 2013

New Online Class: Releasing Shame – Embracing Pleasure


I’m thrilled to announce a new online class starting in August.

Releasing Shame – Embracing Pleasure

Week 1 –  Identifying Shame – How does shame affect sex? – Where does it come from?

Week 2 – How would life be different without shame?  What counters shame?

Week 3  – What is pleasure?  What gets in the way of pleasure?

Week 4 – What gives you pleasure (in and out of the bedroom)?  Creating/Cultivating Pleasure

Week 5 – Implementation – Tangible ways to release shame and embrace pleasure.

  • Each Monday I will share a video.
  • On Wednesday and Friday I will send you exercises or writing explorations
  • Each Saturday I will host a live phone call. I will also be answering your questions.  This is your chance to make this class personal. (If you can’t attend the phone call you can listen to the recording).
  • You can move at your own speed.
  • You can share as much or as little as you want during this class.


The next session starts August 19th, 2013.



This class is currently full. Future classes will be announced.

I look forward to helping you let go of obstacles and turn up the volume on pleasure!

Filed under: Change,Class,Pleasure,Shame,Women — admin @ 3:49 pm

July 16, 2013

The Truth About Sex

sexual intimacy

Recently someone called me a “Truth-Seeker.”  Wowee!  That struck my heart as a huge compliment.  I’ve been seeking and honoring truth a lot lately.  It is one of my core values.  I’ve also been thinking about my business and the values I help people cultivate.






Living Lusciously

Really Great Sex

All of the above is lovely.  It’s also really hard to maintain.  Great sex is WONDERFUL, but can you have it every single time you come together with your lover? I want you to unlock your potential for pleasure and really discover what you like…but will you feel pleasure every single day of your life?  I truly do live lusciously, does that mean I always love everything about my life?

Here are some truths about sex (and life).

  • Sometimes it lacks passion – or is even “blah.”
  • It takes work to make it better (I know sex is supposed to be “natural” but like anything if you want to make it more interesting or exciting you are going to have to try new things, you might even have to read a book or take a class or talk to an expert).
  • Things that used to “work” for you might not anymore. Our bodies change, we change…just because you used to love something doesn’t mean you always will.
  • When you are present and invested it really is better!
  • Just doing it for someone else will not serve you. Closing your eyes and willing it to be over isn’t good for your soul or your heart or your relationship (see above, when you show up you are rewarded).
  • The more you know about what you want and what you like – the better it will be.
  • Intimacy, love and vulnerability can take it to a whole different level. Sure, it can be fun, exciting, sexy or playful with a stranger – but there is a depth that can be enjoyed with someone you love and respect.
  • Occasionally your body might not cooperate. You might have trouble with arousal or orgasm or a certain position.
  • Sex (like life) is deeply personal.
  • You will feel better about what you are doing if you stop looking to other people for approval. If you feel good about it (and aren’t hurting anyone), you are doing it right.  Stop trying to measure yourself against someone else’s yardstick.
  • It ebbs and flows – sometimes it’s great, sometimes it’s tender, sometimes it’s passionate, sometimes it happens a lot and sometimes it’s less frequent.  Trust that if it’s not so great now, you can make it better.

Do I want you to have great sex EVERY single time?  Sure!  Do I wish you could feel sexy EVERY second of the day? Of course!  I am also a truth-seeker and I think it’s important to identify our own personal truths.

What are your sexual truths?

What are you hiding or avoiding seeing?

What do you celebrate and hold dear?

Get clear about your own sexual truths and notice how that positively affects your experience (and life)!

Filed under: Intimacy,Live Your Best Life,Sexuality — admin @ 8:43 am

July 5, 2013

Blessings in Disguise

Photo by Beth Martin

Photo by Beth Martin

Sometimes situations that feel like the worst possible thing, become the best possible thing.

Have you ever had a life experience that felt awful and then later…months, years, decades, you were able to look back and see how important, transformative or really good that experience was?

About 15 years ago I was elated to go to graduate school for acting.  I spent a year preparing for my auditions and felt so certain that that was the right path for me.  I imagined what my experience would entail and the reality was nothing like my hope or dreams.  After my first year of school, I decided to leave the program.  I got a lot of push back from some of the faculty and from some of my peers.  It was a really difficult choice for me to make.  I was embarrassed.  I felt nervous to tell my family I was dropping out of school.  As a straight A student, it felt horrifying to become a grad school drop out.  Now, a decade and a half later (with a totally different graduate degree and career path), if you ask me about some of the most important moments of my life – dropping out of grad school is one of them.  If I had stayed, I don’t know if I would be here.  I don’t know if I would be in Portland.  I don’t know if I would be a therapist.  I don’t know if I would have this life that I love so much.  I don’t know if I would be the person I am today…and I like that person.  I’m grateful for my path.

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings. – Lao Tzu

You have probably heard of (or know) someone who was fired, and then found their dream career.  Or someone who went through a horrible break up and later found an even more fulfilling relationship.  Or someone who became sick or injured or broke (financially) and then discovered what was really most important to them.

If you are going through heartache, loss, or difficult times right now – I know the last things you want to hear is that “everything happens for a reason” or “it will all work out” or “this will bring something even better into your life.”

The truth is, it will get better.

Somehow.  Someday.  It will get better.

Filed under: Change,Gratitude,Self-care,Self-love — admin @ 10:17 am