Be Present

August 1st, 2013 by admin in Gratitude, Spirituality, Vulnerability
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Photo by Beth Martin

Photo by Beth Martin

Today I was driving to a massage and I was stopped at an abnormally long red light.  I felt a flash of panic and thought, ‘I should be doing something!’

I could be replying to email or sending a text or checking facebook or getting ready for my daughter’s birthday.  And then I remembered, ‘I am doing something, I’m driving!’  And I stopped and I took a breath and I asked myself to be present.  Nothing extraordinary happened.  I looked around and saw a gas station and a Plaid Pantry and some people waiting for a bus.  I watched the overcast sky and waited for the light to change.

At my massage, I found my mind filling with all the things I could be doing, the things I NEED to do.  I started writing a blog post in my head, I thought about my shopping list and what I was doing after my massage.  And then I stopped and invited myself to really feel my massage.  I realized if I let my mind wander the 90 minutes would pass and I wouldn’t remember a thing.  My to-do list would be the same size and I wouldn’t have enjoyed my massage.  I felt my massage therapists hands working on my knots and stretching my muscles.  I listened to the music.  I took in the scent of the lotion.

I was present.

And it was lovely.

And then my mind would wander and then I would catch myself and come back to my massage.

Do you find yourself checking email while you are watching a movie?  Are you scrolling through facebook while your partner talks about his day?  Are you planning your weekly menu at your kid’s soccer game?  Are you thinking about work while making love to your mate?

I know that life is busy and there are times we NEED to multitask.  I also realize that sometimes multitasking is a distraction.  Sometimes multitasking keeps us from being present.  And sometimes being present is scary.

If we are truly present than we may feel things that are yucky or painful or embarrassing or hard. If we are truly present, we may realize there are parts of our lives that no longer fit or limit us or just don’t feel authentic.  If we are truly present and we limit distraction, we really see what is going on.  And that can be hard and it can be wonderful!

If we are truly present we can experience our pleasure, our joy, our elation, our bliss.

Life is rarely all good or all bad, all hard or all easy.  When we are present, we make room for all of it.  That can be complicated…and it can be wonderful.  It can be very full.

What are you missing by not being present?

The above photo was taken by my sister.  She might have missed out on that incredible sky if she wasn’t paying attention.

Being present doesn’t mean making your mind blank or meditating or not doing the things you need to do.  It means noticing, breathing, looking, connecting.

Can you take a moment right now (or later in your day) to be present in your life? Can you offer your partner your presence?  Can you stop and feel all of your feelings?

Let yourself really open up to your life…all of it!

If you are struggling with being present during sex, you may find THIS helpful.

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