Archive: November, 2013

November 27, 2013

Giving Thanks with Kids

kids and thanks

I write about gratitude often.  It’s no secret I think it can enhance your life and make you feel good.  I’ve written about ways you can practice gratitude on your own or with your partner.  Lately, I’ve been thinking about ways to practice gratitude with your child(ren).

  • Make a list on your wall

Use butcher paper or a chalkboard to record lists or pictures of things for which you are thankful.  You can encourage your children to list things daily or as they feel them.

  • Create a collage

Tear up old magazines, use photos or other images to make a visual representation of your gratitude.  Give the collage a place of honor (you can even pull it out each Thanksgiving as part of your décor).

  • Turn your tablecloth into a gratitude work of art

Use paper and crayons or a tablecloth and paint to let you child express her thanks.  She may use words or drawings or colors to share her feelings.  You can use this tablecloth as the centerpiece for your Thanksgiving meal.

  • Send postcards of thanks

Who doesn’t love sweet notes in the mail?  Take some time to write thank you notes (or “I’m thankful for you” notes) and send them to loved ones.

  • Make a gratitude altar

Set up a space with found objects, things from nature, pictures of loved ones, special stones or crystals, and other items that make you feel thankful.  Encourage your child to add items to the altar and use it as a way to honor and acknowledge the things and people for which he feels thanks.

  • Model saying, “Thank you.”

It’s a small thing.  The more thankful you are and the more you express it, the more your child will learn that behavior.

This time of year is a great “excuse” or reason to start a gratitude practice.  You don’t have to save all your thanks up for November.  Let this be the start of a regular gratitude practice or family rituals.  It’s amazing to hear what inspires other people’s gratitude  (especially our wee ones).  Gratitude begets gratitude.  Let’s start a thankful chain reaction!

Filed under: Family, Gratitude, Holidays — admin @ 1:52 pm

November 22, 2013

Sex is More Than Physical

spirtual sex

What does sex feel like?

Passionate

Hot

Tender

Loving

Sticky

Disappointing

Boring

Fast

Slow

What are you yearning for?

Something softer

Something harder

Something deeper

Something kinkier

What role does sex fill?

Connecting

Sharing love

Getting off

Distraction

Duty

Release

People have sex for different reasons.  People want different things from sex. For some people sex is really casual and for others it is something serious or precious. While sex involves our bodies and is physical, it can also be more than that.  Sex can be more than physical.

What does that even mean?

Sex can be a way to express, feel or share love.

Sex can be emotional.

Sex can be spiritual.

Sex can be vulnerable.

Sex can be an energy exchange.

What do you want from your sex?

Next week Pixie Campbell and I start our 3-week exploration of sex and the 2nd chakra.  Tomorrow is the last day to sign up for Woman is a River: Transform Your Sexual MythologyIf you want more options for your sex, if you want more information about sex and your 2nd chakra, if you are ready for your sex to more than physical – this class is for you!

Filed under: Class, Intimacy, Sexuality, Spirituality — admin @ 1:08 pm

November 20, 2013

Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending things aren’t hard

I’m grateful for my health.

I’m grateful for the sunshine.

I’m grateful that today isn’t quite as hard as yesterday was.

I’m grateful for hope and faith and trust and inner knowing.

November is often a month of gratitude.  You may see your facebook or twitter feed full of things your friends appreciate.  If you are familiar with my facebook page, you know that I also participate.  I love it!  It brings me joy to see the things for which others are thankful.  It also helps focus me; it helps me shine a light on the positive even when things are hard.

Gratitude helps us acknowledge what is working or feels wonderful.  Giving thanks helps us focus on the good.  It doesn’t take away the bad…it just turns down the volume.  Being grateful doesn’t mean you have to ignore the hard or lie about the bad or pretend things are easy.  You can be grateful about something and still be struggling.  You can be thankful and still wish things were different.  Both can be true.  All of it can be true.

You can also be heartbroken, grieving, disappointed and still find something for which you are grateful.  The gratitude doesn’t replace the pain.  It adds gratitude to your perspective.  It may lesson some of the heartbreak and it may not.

Gratitude isn’t being oblivious or Pollyanna or pretending.  It’s not putting a rosy or sunny spin on things.  Gratitude is something that comes from deep within.  It is a form of thanksgiving and if you are “pretending” then you really aren’t practicing it.

I think sometimes gratitude is discredited because people think it’s “blowing smoke” or not truthful. I think some people see other’s gratitude and feel like they aren’t being realistic or they are painting a picture that is “too good.”  I think some people are uncomfortable with the idea of gratitude because they worry it means they have to let go of all other feelings (anger, guilt, sadness, etc).

You can feel what you feel and be grateful.  You can hold space for the gratitude AND the hard.  Both are true and truth is compelling.

gratitude

Today I’m grateful for a “pause” in my busy day, where I can sit and drink my latte and write this blog post.  I’ve also been up the last 3 nights with a sick baby and I’m exhausted.  My heart is heavy because my babe is struggling.  And I’m struggling.  I’m also grateful for support from friends and family, kind words and a gift package left on my porch.

All of it’s true.  It’s not all good.  It’s not all bad.  It’s wonderful and it’s hard.  It’s true.  It’s life.  And I am grateful.

Filed under: Emotions, Gratitude — admin @ 11:18 am

November 14, 2013

Self Care During the Holidays

I recently wrote about self-care being a foundation rather than a reward.  I’m hoping you agree and understand the importance of self-care.  I also know it can be hard to find the time or energy during the holidays. My November Newsletter is about prioritizing self-care during the holidays.  Check it out for tangible ways to commit to self-care.

Some of the strategies include:

  • Scheduling it
  • Doing it with others, getting an accountability partner
  • Finding it in small doses
  • Paying for it
  • Doing something you love

    You can read more here.

    If you are overwhelmed with all of the things you MUST do during this time of year, self-care can fall off your radar.  Some of the above techniques can help you make sure self happens. What does self-care mean? What counts as self care?

    Here are some other words that are similar to or can equal self-care –

    • Pamper
    • Rest
    • Rejuvenate
    • Self-love
    • Nurture
    • Recharge
    • Nourish

    Any of the above can be self-care.  Pleasure can feel like self-care.  Joy can feel like self-care.  Eating well and getting enough rest is self-care.

    As the days are darker and the weather is cooler, it’s even more important to look inside and respond to what you need. How can you care for yourself?  How can you prioritize yourself this holiday season? How can you give to yourself?

    Woman is a River: Transform Your Sexual Mythology starts November 25th!  This class is a wonderful way to nourish yourself and focus on self-love this holiday season!

    Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 10:41 am

    November 11, 2013

    A Light Touch of the Tongue

    light touch of the tongue

    Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman’s toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace.

    Marianne Williamson

    Filed under: Intimacy, Pleasure, Sensuality, Sexuality — admin @ 12:00 am

    November 7, 2013

    Self Care is NOT a Reward

    Self-care as the foundation

    Hello, dear one.

    • You know you are worthy of love, right?
    • You know you are worthy of goodness, right?
    • You know you are worthy of care and joy and passion, right?

    You do not have to EARN self-care. Self-care is not a treat you give yourself if you do a good job.

    Self-care is the foundation.

    SELF-CARE is the FOUNDATION.

    When you care for yourself you have the energy to do the other things. When you care for yourself you have the energy to tackle your to do list, give to others or enjoy an actual reward.

    • Start with self-care and let everything else build on that.
    • Start with self-care and watch your life expand.
    • Start with self-care and feel centered, secure and cared for.

    You don’t have to earn your self-care. Self-care is the foundation!

    Do you need a little help identifying what “counts” as self-care?

    Feeling like self-care is selfish?

    My Shower Yourself with Love e-course is a wonderful way to focus on yourself and your care during this season. Now is a great time to slow down and go deep! Let this class be the foundation for you as you explore your pleasure, your sensuality and what feels good!

    My November newsletter is about self-care during the holidays. Do yourself a favor, practice self-care by signing up for my newsletter here.

    Filed under: Self-care, Self-love — admin @ 10:20 am

    November 5, 2013

    Release Shame and Embrace Pleasure – It’s here!

    ShamePleasure

    I am so pleased to share that I’ve created a PDF version of my Releasing Shame and Embracing Pleasure course!  This is a 29 page version of the live 5-week class.  You will get all of the videos, exercises and recordings of the calls AND get to do it all at your own pace!

    Here is a break down of what it covers –

    • Week 1 -  Exploring Shame – What is it?  Where does it come from?  How does it affect your life (and sex life)?
    • Week 2 – How would life be different without shame?  What counters shame?
    • Week 3  – What is pleasure?  What are you beliefs about pleasure?  What gets in the way of pleasure?
    • Week 4 – Shining the light on – Sexual Pleasure, Self Pleasure, Orgasm and Pleasure with a partner.
    • Week 5 – Implementation – Tangible ways to release shame and embrace pleasure.

    I’ve set it up so you can maintain the original flow of the 5-week course or you can do it all at your own speed.  The beauty of this is that you get all of the goodness from the original course AND you can move at your own pace.

    Are you ready to release your shame and embrace your pleasure????

    The cost for the entire course is $49 and you can get started today!

    Add to Cart

    Filed under: Class, Pleasure, Shame, Women — admin @ 10:49 am

    November 1, 2013

    Close Your Mouth and Listen

    listening
    • Do you love to give advice?
    • Are you trying to spare someone from learning things the “hard way” or impart your knowledge?
    • Do you think your way is just best?

    I think most advice comes from a place of love.  However, people rarely like being told what to do.

    Many of us are doing the best that we can.  So unsolicited advice can feel judgmental rather than helpful.  Even when is advice is “spot on,” un-requested advice is rarely welcomed whole-heartedly.

    Your advice usually has more to say about you than it does about the other person.  Are you trying to save her from a mistake you made in the past?  Do you want to control the situation?  Do you feel judgment and want to use “advice” to make someone feel a certain way?  Are you jealous?  Are you trying to change someone?

    The next time you find yourself wanting to help by way of telling someone how to live, take a breath and ask yourself what it’s really about.  Perhaps you can take a moment and practice empathy, can you get some perspective by trying to understand what they are experiencing?

    If you aren’t sure that you are giving advice and really feel like you are helping, notice if you start with “You SHOULD…” or “Here’s what you do…”  Helping looks more like, “How can I help?”  or  “Is there anything I can do?”  It’s OK to to ask if there is any way you can help (that is very different than telling someone what they should do).

    Or just close your mouth and listen.  If someone wants your opinion or wisdom, they will surely ask.  And they will remember how great it felt when you just sat back and listened.  Listening can go a very long way!

    Filed under: Communication, Support — admin @ 4:08 pm