Archive: November, 2014

November 27, 2014

25% off all classes!

Gratitude Sale

I am feeling so much gratitude and want to share it with you!

All of my self-study classes are 25% off through Sunday.

Now is a great time to purchase a class for yourself or as a holiday gift.

You Don’t Have to be a Sexy Tiger: Discover YOUR Sexual Self!

Woman is a River: Transform Your Sexual Mythology

Releasing Shame: Embracing Pleasure

Shower Yourself with Love

Shower Your Partner with Love

(all of the links above reflect the 25% discount)

I am so grateful for this work. I am so grateful for the transformation and depth I witness through my work. I am so grateful for intimacy, pleasure, vulnerability and love!

Filed under: Class, Gratitude, Sale — admin @ 8:19 pm

November 25, 2014

How do you support someone who is struggling?

support

It’s so hard to witness a loved one’s pain. It’s so hard when someone you love is struggling. You might wish you could swoop in, ease their pain and make it better.

You might not know what do to and leave it up to them to tell you what would feel supportive.

One of the most common questions after someone famous (or someone you know) ends his life is, “Why didn’t he ask for help?” I see article after article, imploring people to ask for help when they are struggling. Yes! Yes! If you are able to, please ask for help. However, when people are really depressed or deep in their grief, they rarely have the energy or thought to reach out and ask for help.

I work with people who describe themselves as depressed and they often share how hard it is to do ANYTHING, the last thing they can do is ask a friend for help. When they are deep in their depression, they don’t even know what will feel supportive.

I know that when I’ve felt grief, there were times it didn’t even occur to me to pick up the phone. When you are grieving, your world is filled with that feeling, those memories, the heaviness and it can feel strange or impossible to reach out. It can feel unsettling that the rest of the world seems to keep spinning when your world has stopped.

And for those who love someone who is struggling, it can be confusing. Am I supposed to ask about their grief and talk about the person who is gone? Or cheer them up and take their mind off of it?

Here are some ways you can support someone who is struggling

  • Ask her how she is feeling. Be open to her response. Keep the conversation going.
  • Empathize. Don’t talk her out of her feelings. Don’t try to convince her it’s not so bad.
  • Ask her what she needs.
  • If she is grieving, ask if she wants to talk about the person she misses. Does she want to hear stories you remember? Does she want to share stories about that person?
  • Keep checking in. Ask if she would prefer texts or phone calls and then check in regularly. Checking in can be as simple as “Thinking of you. How are you today?” “Can I bring you anything?” “Would you like some company?”
  • If your loved one is grieving, help her honor special occasions and events. Acknowledge birthdays and anniversaries.
  • If your loved one is depressed, offer concrete things you can do together. “Let’s go for a walk.” “Let’s go to this event, I will pick you up at 4pm.”
  • Let your loved one know she is not alone!

Here are some additional resources I found.

Supporting a grieving person

How to help a grieving friend

How to help someone who is depressed

Filed under: Death, Emotions, Grief, Support — admin @ 7:58 pm

November 15, 2014

On Gratitude

May your heart be an altar, from which the bright flame of  unending thanksgiving ascends to Heaven. - St. Mary Euphrasia Pelletier

May your heart be an altar, from which the bright flame of unending thanksgiving ascends to Heaven. - St. Mary Euphrasia Pelletier

This is the third year that I’ve participated in 30 Days of Thanks. Every day during the month of November I’m posting something for which I am grateful. You can find my gratitude posts on Facebook, twitter and instagram.

There is something so powerful about making gratitude a daily practice. I find as I go through my day so many tiny moments stand out as beautiful.

I’m grateful for my daughter’s hand curled up in mine.

I’m grateful for the way the light shines through the trees.

I’m grateful for clean sheets.

I’m grateful for that first sip of coffee and last sip of cider.

I’m grateful for tiny, beautiful things that are easy to overlook.

When I make gratitude part of my daily practice, I see the beauty in my life more easily. That’s not to say that there aren’t days that are hard. There are times during my 30 Days of Thanks challenge when I think about just skipping my gratitude for that day. I’m feeling grouchy or sad or uninspired. I’m feeling busy or overwhelmed or tired. And the truth is, there is always something for which I can be grateful.

I’m grateful for shelter from the cold.

I’m grateful for food.

I’m grateful for work that I love.

I’m grateful for health.

Gratitude doesn’t erase pain. Gratitude doesn’t cancel out heartbreak. Gratitude doesn’t make everything better. However, I often feel better when I make space for gratitude.

Gratitude gives me perspective.

I choose gratitude.

And some times it actually does make me feel better. It can be just the jolt I need to wake up, pay attention and rejoice for what I have.

Here are some ways you can start a gratitude practice –

Join me in posting your gratitude for 30 Days of Thanks

Keep a gratitude journal

Create a gratitude altar (I’ve pictured one that I’ve started. Use objects, symbols and pictures)

Make a gratitude collage

Fill a gratitude jar

Start a family gratitude ritual

Filed under: Gratitude — admin @ 3:01 pm

November 4, 2014

Talking About Money

I love helping people talk about uncomfortable things. I love giving people language (and permission) to express their feelings and desire. I get to do this in my office all of the time. Tomorrow night I get to do it in a different environment!

Talking About Money

I’m speaking at the next Her Financial Way event.

And rather than sex and intimacy, I’m talking about money. I’m talking about how you can talk about money in your relationships (and it’s happening right before we gear up for the holidays and stress and possible financial burdens).

I love helping people use their voice and get their needs and wants met. I LOVE being able to speak to a group of women. I extra love it when I’m asked by people I adore! My friend Kristen Martha Brown is the BEST!

I’m super excited to share this information AND I think it’s going to be a lot of fun too! I hope to see you there.

Filed under: Holidays, Relationship, Speaking — admin @ 1:03 pm

November 1, 2014

In defense of pleasure!

This was my writing spot in Paris. I often enjoyed flowers and a treat while I worked.

This was my writing spot in Paris. I often enjoyed flowers and a treat while I worked.

Fresh flowers- just because

A long, hot bath

Being slowly stroked from the tip of your toes to the top of you head

Your favorite meal

A delicious new lotion or perfume

The sound and texture of leaves crunching under your feet

Laughter

Chocolate

Love letters

Satin Sheets

Lingering kisses or a full on make out session

Sleeping in

The sound of your spoon cracking into crème broule

Feathers – against your skin, in your hair

A hot shower with the perfect water pressure

Falling into bed after a grueling day

Running your hand over velvet wallpaper

Sunshine on your skin

Staying in bed ALL DAY

Floating in water

Kissing…le sigh…did I mention kissing????

Pleasure Paris Writing

Pleasure gets a bad reputation. In our current culture where we are glorifying busyness, pleasure is often viewed as less than noble or even gluttonous. We often value stress and fatigue and deprivation. Who has time for pleasure?

Pleasure Isn’t a Four Letter Word!

Pleasure is a wonderful way to enrich your life.

Pleasure can help you feel vibrant, alive and grateful. Pleasure pulls you into the present moment. Pleasure connects you to your sensuality. Pleasure connects you to the world around you.

Pleasure isn’t just about sex (though I do hope your sex is pleasurable). You can engage with pleasure outside of the bedroom.

What gives your pleasure? What excites you? What thrills you? What feels good? What would you do if you have more time, money, energy or passion?

I understand that life can be busy. I know you have responsibilities and obligations and things that need to get done. Do you also have room for pleasure? Can you allow yourself one pleasurable thing today?

Need a little help with pleasure?

Check out these posts -

Give yourself a permission slip for pleasure

Can you have pleasure without guilt?

Giving Yourself Pleasure

My “You Don’t Have to be a Sexy Tiger: Discover YOUR Sexual Self” class is a great way to get in touch with your pleasure. Learn more HERE.

Filed under: Pleasure — admin @ 1:58 pm