Archive: March, 2015

March 31, 2015

Spring Cleaning For Your Sex Life!

cherry blossoms

Spring has sprung in the Pacific Northwest. The tulips are blooming and the cherry blossoms have come and gone. The sun is shining and it’s easier to see all of the dust and grime that has accumulated over the winter.  It’s time for Spring Cleaning!

What about a little spring cleaning for your sex life?

Start by tossing anything that has expired or is broken.

  • Check the expiration date on your condoms or diaphragm (and if you’ve lost or gained weight, get refitted for your diaphragm).
  • Your lubricant has a shelf life. If you can’t remember when you bought it; check the color, scent and consistency to see if it’s time to replace it.
  • Throw out any toys or batteries that aren’t working.

While you’re at it, get rid of anything you don’t use or don’t like.

  • Throw out underwear or lingerie that doesn’t fit or doesn’t make you feel good.
  • Get rid of toys or massage lotion that you haven’t used in ages.
  • Let go of shame or any limiting beliefs or ideas.

Take care of your sexual health.

  • Now is a great time to revisit your birth control. Is it still working for you?
  • Is it time for a visit to your doctor for a check up or for STI testing?

Add some tools to your sexual tool box.

  • Invest in a new toy or accessory.
  • Buy a book or take a class about sex.
  • Try something new with your partner.

Give your sexy space a make over.

  • Buy new sheets.
  • Change the lighting (even adding candles can make an difference).
  • Add some artwork.

Are you ready to let go of something or invite something new into your life? It’s a great time to take a sexual inventory and see what you want to change.

Filed under: Sexual Being, Sexuality — admin @ 9:51 am

March 3, 2015

Reinvent the Love Letter

I come from a line of letter writers. My mom, my gram and I still exchange letters. I was raised to write thank you letters. I also send letters of celebration and sympathy to the people I love. And I try to send letters “just because” to tell my friends or family I love them or are thinking of them or I think they are great.

In my office I often hear stories from people who yearn for loving words from their partner. I hear about people holding on to post it notes with a brief “I think you’re great” message or grocery lists scribbled on a scrap of paper that also include,“You’re sexy!”. I often witness one partner saying to the other, “You never give me cards anymore” or “I miss your sweet notes”.

Love letters make love stay visible. You can rub it, smell it, touch it, share it and sleep with it under your pillow. Sark

When I was last in Paris, I sent a postcard to myself as a reminder that what I want is possible.

Paris Letter

Love letters help take a snap shot of a current period of time. They can act as a reminder or memory keeper.

Love letters don’t have to include “How do I love thee, let me count the ways.” They don’t have to be long or eloquent or complicated.

Love letters can be short.

A note with a simple, “I love you!” goes a long way.

Love letters can be sexy.

Love letters don’t have to include the word love. You can write about gratitude, appreciation, what you admire or notice about a person or words of encouragement.

I’ve written about my happiness jar. The notes I put inside act as love letters to a future me. A week ago I emptied my happiness jar and read about all of the special moments I recorded. I was especially moved to find this note my mom secretly place in the jar.

Mom Note

I found this love letter almost a year after it was written!

When I’m in a relationship I like to leave little notes around the house for my partner to find. These are often brief and hidden in dvd cases or in pockets of clothing or in bathroom drawers or in the stack of dinner plates in the cupboard. Some of the notes are easy to find and are discovered in a day or two and others are found months later.

These love notes can be short -

I love your eyes.

I love the way you kiss my neck.

You are a great mother.

You inspire me.

I admire you.

I’m so lucky to be loved by you.

What about leaving love notes for your friends or family? A card can be delivered in the mail or you can leave one the next time you are visiting. I can’t wait until my next trip to Michigan. I’m going to love bomb my mom’s house!

You can also leave love notes for strangers. Leave a “Your garden is amazing!” note for the special house you walk by every day. Slip a “You are worthy” or “You are lovable” note into library books.

Write a love letter with chalk on the sidewalk.

You Are Loved

Love breeds love. Let’s start a love revolution!

Filed under: Communication, Friendship, Gratitude, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Romance — admin @ 1:05 pm