Archive: March, 2016

March 30, 2016

Can People Change?



Do they?


I’m lucky because in my line of work I get to see people grow and change all the time. It’s incredible to witness.

I also see people struggle, feel stuck or give up.

Change is hard. If it wasn’t, we would see a lot more people embracing change. We wouldn’t need New Year’s Resolutions. People wouldn’t struggle with diets or breaking unhealthy habits. People would change easily and often.

So what is the difference between people who change and those who don’t?

Here are some of the things I see when people shift and change and grow.

They are ready – Often they have gotten to a place where the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. Change can feel scary because it is unknown. It also requires commitment to show up differently. We can’t keep doing what we are used to doing and expect to change. I see people change when they can no longer stay the same. Their health, happiness, relationship or livelihood maybe not be sustainable in their current situation, so it’s time to change. Or they are so excited and motivated by a new possibility that they simply cannot avoid this growth or change.

They get support – Because change is hard, it’s easier if you have support. Support can come from a person – like a trainer, a coach, a friend or a ┬áspouse. Or your support may involved a book or class or a group. Having someone who keeps you accountable and also offers warmth and encouragement is huge!

They celebrate along the way – If you want to lose 100 pounds it might take a while. If you want to get your graduate degree, it will take a few years. And it might be easy to feel discouraged along the way. It’s important to celebrate small changes on the way to your larger change. You don’t have to wait until you lose the last 20 pounds or get that diploma in your hand before you feel elated or proud.

They know missteps and setbacks may happen and they are willing to recommit if they get off track. – I’ve mentioned change is hard, right? It’s easy to fall of track or want to give up. But a setback doesn’t mean you have to give up. People who are committed to change commit to getting back on course.

They are changing for themselves – I hear from a lot of people who wish their partner would change (I’m actually writing about that tomorrow). And while some people are motivated to change for others, I see change really working when it’s something the person really wants. If you are changing for someone else, you may become resentful. You may blame your partner for difficulties in your change process. When change is self-motivated it can be easier to stay on course and ask for support. Even if you get support, you are the one who really has to do the work to change.

Change is certainly possible. It can also be difficult.

If you are ready to┬áchange –

Break your goal down into smaller steps. Get support. Celebrate your growth at different stages of your journey. And be gentle with yourself along the way!

Filed under: Change — admin @ 8:38 pm