Archive: May, 2016

May 8, 2016

Hey, Mama! I see you.

Mama love

I was waiting in line to get a pastry and latte today and I overheard two men in front of me who were talking about Mother’s Day.

Man #1 – What are you doing for your wife today?

Man #2 – I don’t know why I have to do anything. She’s not my mom. It doesn’t make any sense to me.

That interaction in combination with reading some articles and posts about people who are struggling with Mother’s Day has me thinking today. It pains me to know that Mother’s Day is hard for so many people. There are so many people who feel grief about the loss of their mom, the absence of their mom, or lack of love from their mom. ┬áThere are so many women who ache to have a child or have lost a child or struggled with their role as mom. I know that seeing people sharing the joys of motherhood and their love of their moms can amplify that pain.

I know some people complain that Mother’s Day is a Hallmark Holiday.

I know some people say that Mother’s Day is every day and we shouldn’t need a holiday.

I know that some people say that Mothering is a gift in itself and we should be grateful for the experience and not need anything else.

And also, I know many women who need Mother’s Day. I know many women who don’t know how to ask for a break or breakfast in bed or time to get a pedicure and Mother’s Day is the day they give themselves permission. Mother’s Day is the day they feel seen and appreciated and valued.

So should you have to celebrate someone on Mother’s Day?

No.

You don’t have to do anything. And celebrating someone with a resentful heart probably doesn’t feel all that great for the person being “celebrated.”

For me, Mother’s Day is an opportunity. An opportunity for women to ask for what they need (as a mama or someone who has a mama or someone who is grieving). What do you want or need today?

For me, Mother’s Day is a reminder. A reminder to tell people that you see them and you love that and that you empathize and acknowledge them. Or a reminder that some people you love really struggle with their mom or their grief or their role as mom. A reminder to celebrate yourself and receive celebration.

For me, Mother’s Day is about being seen. So often mothering means doing the work that needs to be done. It happens without comment or witness. And today some mothers may feel seen and appreciated and validated. By their partners, by their children, by their friends and even by strangers. Today as I was out in the world with my daughter people wished me a happy Mother’s Day. It felt lovely.

So today I see you. I’m sorry if it’s hard. I’m sorry if you are grieving. I salute you if you are working hard. I celebrate with you if you are loving life. I see you not only as a Mother, but as a human. If you have the capacity, let today be a day where you reach out to other mothers and celebrate them or other humans who are struggling today and ask how you can offer support.

And if you are feeling unseen or uncelebrated or unloved - I hope that you will mother yourself a bit today too.

Filed under: Holidays, Love, Mother, Women — admin @ 3:28 pm