New Year’s Resolutions for Your Relationship

December 31st, 2019 by admin in Change, Intimacy, Marriage, Relationship
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I love this time of year. For me it is full of time with my family, possibility, exploring dreams and desires, and hope.

It’s the time of year when you reflect on your life and what you want to change. Most of the time we create personal intentions or resolutions.

What about your relationship?

What do you want?

What would you like to leave behind in 2019 and what do you want to create or commit to in 2020?

Here are some intentions or goals to explore with your partner – 

  • Commit to a Date Night – Schedule some time together. You can get dolled up and go out on the town, go for a walk, or even spend some quality time at home together. The important thing is that you are making time for each other and making your relationship a priority.
  • Try something new – Trying a new activity or hobby can be exciting and it’s great if you two can share that excitement together. Check out a dance class, join an organization or even take a trip to your local adult toy store to pick up some new bedroom accessories.
  • Focus on the Positive – Sometimes relationships can get bogged down by negativity. We all like to feel appreciated and loved. When is the last time you told your partner how sexy he is? or how much you admire her? or how proud you are of them? Instead of focusing on what your partner isn’t doing, what would it be like to focus on what he is doing? It’s nice to receive compliments. It’s nice to feel appreciated. It’s nice to feel loved. What can you do this year (and for years to come) to make sure the positive interactions outweigh the negative in your relationship? You can make this tangible by creating a gratitude journal or a happiness jar together.
  • Learn some skills – Just like any other area of your life, relationships require energy and effort. Take a class on communication, commit to fighting fairly, work with a coach or therapist or read a book together. Put some energy into your relationship and watch it come back to you!
  • Make small rituals a priority –  You can increase intimacy and deepen your connection by focusing on small daily rituals. Start and/or end your day together, hug, kiss, talk about what’s on your mind or in your heart. I love this graphic from the Gottman Institute with more ideas about small ways to prioritize connection and intimacy.

This week’s Swoon also has strategies for reflecting on the past year and setting intentions for stronger partnerships in the coming year.

If you are feeling inspired and excited by the new year, take a little time to include your relationship on your resolution list. It’s doesn’t need to take a ton of time or more to shift things in a positive direction. You can focus on gratitude, more time together, turning up the heat in the bedroom or even choosing a word of the year for your relationship. Where you put your attention grows. Put your attention on your relationship in 2020 and feel your love expand!

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