Archive: Intimacy

July 13, 2011

Have a Sensual Picnic

Here are a few simple ways to turn up the heat on your summer picnic!

Find a location – You don’t have to leave your house to have a sensual picnic.  Make sure you choose a space that is private and allows you to feel comfortable expressing yourself.  You’ll want a location that has minimal distractions.

Gather supplies – This is a sensual picnic so find ways to titillate your senses!  Choose a blanket that feels good to the touch.  Play with lighting and sound.  Choose clothing that delights your senses (you can go nude if you like, if you would prefer clothes find something that is comfortable and is also pleasing to touch).

Choose your food – It wouldn’t be a picnic without food right?  Choose foods that inspire your senses (visually beautiful, vibrant smells, sweet or salty or bitter tastes, rich in texture, things that make an interesting sound when you bite into them).

Then put it all together!

Create your ideal environment, clear you schedule and get ready to connect with your partner!

You may want to set a few boundaries before you get started.  Will you be feeding each other?  You may want to experiment with a blindfold and have your partner feed you…notice the way your other senses heighten when you don’t rely on your sight.  Do you want to experiment with touch during your picnic?  Do you want the picnic to lead to something sexual?  It’s OK to have the picnic be the main event.  If you haven’t connected sexually with your partner in a while a sensual picnic can be a nice way to break the ice and help you explore physical intimacy (without having sex).  If you decide you want the picnic to be foreplay and you want to connect sexually as dessert, that is great too!  Just make sure you are on the same page.

Be creative and let your senses lead the way!

Filed under: Intimacy, Pleasure, Romance, Sensuality, Sexuality — admin @ 6:02 pm

July 7, 2011

Will You Let Yourself Be Seen?

tomb web

Will you let yourself be seen?

in the world?

by your partner?

It is wonderful to love another person, yet

True intimacy is letting someone else see All of you.

The good, the bad, even the ugly.  The brave, the scared and the silly.  The vulnerable, the stubborn, the giddy.

The sad, the happy and the luscious.  The sexy, the frigid and the heart-broken.

What are you hiding?

Will you let yourself be seen as you truly are?

Filed under: Intimacy, Self-love — admin @ 11:08 am

June 30, 2011

Have Vacation Sex Without Leaving Your Home!

beach web

When I ask couples about their last great sexual experience they often say it was on vacation.  There is something about vacation that allows people to open up and let loose.  Gone are the To Do lists, the piles of responsibilities, the routines, the structure.  On vacation people don’t worry about being too loud, too tired or making a mess.  Being on vacation, gives us freedom to be different.

What if you can’t go on an impromptu vacation to improve your sex life?

Here are a few things you can do to have vacation-like sex at HOME!

Set a vacation scene or mood

Do whatever you need to do to your space to make it welcoming and ready for sex!  Get rid of distractions or possible interruptions.  Incorporate scents, colors, certain food or drinks or any other elements that will relax or entice you.  Take the time and make your space exciting!

Get in a vacation mind-set

How are YOU different on vacation?  Are you softer, more easy-going?  Are you more open to connecting and being sexual?  How can you bring those elements into your love-making at home?  What can YOU do to influence your sexual experience at home?

Press the pause button on regular life

Don’t pencil-in sex if  you can’t take your time.  That’s the thing about vacation, we have all the time in the world.  Don’t have sex when you need to be somewhere in 20 minutes.  Don’t try to have vacation-like sex while you are making your grocery list or balancing your checkbook. Set aside enough time so you can slow down, relish your partner and enjoy your time together.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money (or even have to leave your home) to have great sex.  Allow yourself the luxury of time, an enticing space and an open mind and you can go to paradise without leaving your home!

Filed under: Intimacy, Sexuality — admin @ 9:00 am

June 28, 2011

Connecting daily with your partner can go a long way!

Tree heart web

It’s easy to make time for your partner when you have a whole weekend, but what about daily connection?  When you’ve been working or corralling the kids or buried by housework; taking 15 minutes with your mate can feel like a luxury.  Those 15 minutes can go a long way!  Daily connection helps you feel loved, it helps you and your partner create shared expectations and it can diminish feelings of resentment or loneliness.

Get in the habit of checking in each day.  You can use the time when you both meet up at the end of the day (after one or both of you get home from work), use 15 minutes right before bed or first thing in the morning.

Here are some ways you can use your time together –

  • Check in about your day
  • Share your feelings about each other
  • Practice gratitude
  • Go over a few logistics (who is picking the kids up tomorrow or what needs to be purchased at the store) – don’t let your whole 15 minutes be about to do lists, make sure you have time to enjoy each other
  • Connect physically – hug, kiss, hold hands, cuddle
  • Ask for any support you might need
  • Talk about future dates or vacations
  • Say, “I love you.”
  • Have a daily ritual you do together

Connecting daily makes it easy to talk about the good things and also the hard things.  If you are feeling hurt or disappointed, you might have to wait a while to share that information if you aren’t in the habit of daily connection.  Do yourself and your relationship a favor and “connecting with my partner” to your daily schedule!

Filed under: Gratitude, Intimacy, Relationship, Ritual — admin @ 12:09 pm

June 15, 2011

Experience Your Partner Like a Work of Art!

Do you see her?

L'Arc

Look at her strength and power!  The way she just rises up out of the ground and commands your attention!

Arc inside

Look at her delicate details!

Arc curves

Look at her delicious curves!

view from Arc

And the way the world looks through her eyes!

I love the Arc De Triomphe!  I love the way it just sits there at the end of the Champs-Elysees.  I love that I can’t take my eyes off of it.  I made a video postcard comparing the Arc De Triomphe to a lover or partner.  I hope you enjoy it!

Under the Arc De Triomphe you will find the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and an eternal flame.

flame arc

How is your flame for your lover these days?  Still burning?  Does it need a little more fuel?  What needs to happen in order to experience your partner like a work of art?

Filed under: Intimacy, Paris, Relationship, Video — admin @ 11:00 am

June 14, 2011

You Are Beautiful!

I am beautiful web

I am beautiful - Rodin

Ah beauty and vulnerability and strength all swirling together.

Look at the way he lifts her up!  Do you let others lift you like that?  Do you lift others up?

Look at her taking center stage, up in the air, allowing herself to be seen!  Do you let yourself be seen by others?

Look at that trust, she knows she will not fall!  Do you trust that deeply?

Look at that vulnerability and that strength and power.  Do you let yourself be vulnerable?  Do you acknowledge your strength?  Do you channel your power?

The name of this piece is “I Am Beautiful.”  Can you say that out loud?  Can you claim your beauty?  Can you share it with the world?

It is a simple truth.  Your beauty.  I see it.  Do you?

Filed under: Body-Image, Intimacy, Paris, Self-love, Vulnerability — admin @ 9:37 am

June 4, 2011

Romance and the Rodin Museum

This week I spent some time at the Rodin Museum and I found myself swooning all over the place!

The grounds, the flowers, the art and the atmosphere are all so lovely!

Rodin garden web

And don’t even get my started about the sculpture!  The smooth lines exalting the female form.

The Kiss web

And the delicious lovers wrapped in each others’ arms!

rodin lovers web

I suppose I am a romantic at heart!

Eternal idol web

Sometimes I think romance gets lost in the shuffle in our busy lives.  I created a video postcard to talk about romance and small ways to bring it into your relationship.

Romance doesn’t have to be reserved for chick flicks, romance novels or the beginning of a relationship.  A little romance can go a long way to make your partner feel loved, appreciated and cherished.

Filed under: Intimacy, Paris, Relationship, Romance, Video — admin @ 11:55 am

May 26, 2011

Sacred Sex and the Sacre-Coeur

Video #2 in my Video Postcards from Paris series.

How can you make your sex more sacred?  Watch the video for a few simple tips to deepen your connection with yourself and your partner.


Another way to make your sex more spiritual or sacred is to add some ritual. Take a shower or bath with your partner before making love. Bring in a certain scent or some candles. Have a special playlist or song that signifies your special time together. Do something special to create an environment or a mindset that is all about you and your lover.

For more tips about sex and to learn more about my Paris adventures, connect with me on facebook or twitter.

Filed under: Intimacy, Paris, Ritual, Sexuality, Spirituality, Video — admin @ 10:00 am

May 11, 2011

Letting Go or Losing It!

How does control affect your sexual experience?  Can you hold on to control and still have an orgasm?  Can you force yourself to get an erection when you have some sexual anxiety or shame?

How does control impact the rest of your life?  Can you control the people around?  Can you control your experiences?  Is control getting in the way of expansiveness or your ability to enjoy things?  Sometimes the more we try to control something, the farther is slips out of our reach.  Think of a water balloon, the hard you try to grab it or squeeze it, the more it slips away.  The same thing can happen with sex.  The more you try to have an orgasm, the harder it can be to get there.

To some degree control can limit our ability to receive or experience pleasure.  So often I hear from people who are worried that if they let go of control that will mean they will lose control.  And losing control can be scary!  “If I’m not in control, what will happen?!?”  What if I lose control and make funny sound or face in bed?  What if I lose control and something bad happens?  Instead of trying to “lose control” can you gently let go of it?  Can you change your perception.  Instead of making yourself have an orgasm, can you give yourself an orgasm (ah, what a lovely gift!).  Instead of getting an erection or lasing longer so you can perform, can you have an erection or maintain your stamina in order to have an experience.  Subtle, but different intentions.

The next time you are sexual, imagine loosening control.  You don’t have to get rid of it completely, but what if you let yourself stay in the present and focused on what feels good instead of trying to have a specific outcome.  What if you let yourself enjoy the experience, the process rather than trying to direct the scene so you have a specific outcome?  The more fixed you are on that outcome, the more it may slip out of your grasp…

Filed under: Intimacy, Relationship, Sexuality — admin @ 9:43 pm

March 10, 2011

Getting Sex On Your Radar

You may have heard the myth that most men think about sex every 7 seconds and while research can’t back that number up, men typically think about sex more than women do.  And if you add kids or a career or household work into the mix, you might not think about it at all.  Here are 3 ways to move sex to the top of your priority list!

  • Do small things that make you feel sexy every day!

Let me emphasize SMALL!  Wear underwear that makes you feel sexy (don’t just save your pretty panties for special occasions, wear them for no reason at all!)

Get a bikini wax or shave your legs (do those things you might only do when you are going to have sex).

Do your Kegel exercises!  They are a great way to be connected to your sexuality.  If you don’t know how to do them, check this out. Kegels can get sex on the brain in a couple of ways.  ONE – you are increasing your PC muscles and that can impact how sex feels and the strength of your orgasm.  TWO – if you are doing an exercise that focus on your vaginal muscles, you are going to think about your vagina and that might help you think about sex!

Listen to erotica (you can even listen to it on the treadmill or on your way home from work)

Take a dance class with your partner

Take a luxurious bath or get a sensual massage

Take a shower with your partner (this isn’t about having sex in the shower…it’s just a shower…but you will be naked and in close quarters and that might put sex on your brain)

Think of small things you can do easily.

  • Make a Sex Date

I hear so often from people that scheduling sex takes the fun out of it.  But here’s the thing…if you aren’t having sex at all, that takes the fun out of it too!  The other thing I would recommend is thinking about how things were when you were dating.  When you would get ready to spend the night over or prepare for a date, there were probably times you knew you were going to have sex, right?  That’s similar to a sex date.  And instead of having it be a practical thing that takes the fun out sex, can it be something that builds up anticipation?  A few days before your sex date you can flirt and tease and build excitement.

  • Make sure you are getting the kind of sex you want

If you are just having sex to please your partner and you aren’t getting any of your needs met than of course sex won’t be on your radar!  You have to take the time to figure out what excites you, what you are yearning for, what you might like and then you need to share that with your partner.  You need to ask for it.  Your partner can’t read your mind.  If you are hoping that one day he will just figure it out, you might not ever get the kind of sex you are dreaming of.

Filed under: Desire, Intimacy, Sexuality — admin @ 6:58 am

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