Archive: Pleasure

October 16, 2018

How do you tend your erotic fire?

How do you keep the romance, intimacy and passion alive in your relationship?

passionate couple

I like to call this energy your erotic fire. It’s that passionate and connecting energy between partners.

And if you know anything about a fire, it needs to be tended. It needs to be fed and cared for, because once the fire goes out completely it takes more energy to get it started again.

The erotic fire acts as a thread between sexual encounters. It can help you and your partner feel connected. If there is no erotic fire in a relationship it can take a lot of energy for one or both partner to show up sexually. Without an erotic fire it can feel like you have to go from zero to sixty when you initiate sex. With the erotic fire there is already warmth and connection there and it’s much easier to create sexual heat.

How do you tend the erotic fire in your relationship?

Do you flirt?
Send a sexy text?
Plan a romantic date or getaway?
Compliment your partner?
Take a class, read a book or go to counseling?
Make out (without the expectation of sex)?
Make time for emotional intimacy?
Snuggle?
Communicate about sex?
Woo each other?
Set aside time for just the two of you?

And what about your own erotic fire? How do you connect to your own sexual energy?

Here are some things you might try to connect to your own erotic energy.

Reading erotica
Yoga or Dance
Get to know your body and what feels good
Dressing in a way that makes you feel sexy
Practicing Sensuality
Using Mindfulness so you feel present
Masturbation
Prioritize Pleasure

Sometimes when we are stuck in the routine of life, or the stress of life, it’s easy to ignore our own erotic energy or the erotic fire in our relationship. Luckily it only takes a spark to start that fire (and then a little bit of energy to lovingly tend it)!


Filed under: Dating, Intimacy, Marriage, Pleasure, Relationship, Romance, Sensuality, Sexuality — admin @ 9:03 pm

August 19, 2018

Vibrant Living

vibrant living

What makes you feel alive?

What replenishes you and fills you up?

Are you living a life that energizes and excites you?

With everything going on in the world and so many things competing for our time and energy it’s easy to feel depleted. It’s easy to just go through the motions. But so many of us are wanting more. So many of us are wanting to feel more vitality, more joy, more connection…

Nikki Weaver and I are excited to announce our next one day retreat for women -

Vibrant Living

Together we will explore self-care, passion, pleasure and joy.

You’ll leave feeling nourished and connected and with a plan for living your own vibrant life!

Nikki will be leading us in yoga before and after our lunch break.

I’ll be asking questions and leading exercises to explore passion, presence and getting clear about what you want in your life.

There will be mindfulness, guided meditation, and a sound bath.

There will be time to share, to listen, to reflect and to connect with other women.

For lunch we’ll walk to a local restaurant to socialize and sit with each other in community.

We are so excited about this offering!

Nikki and I have been exploring what it means to live with presence, pleasure and purpose in our own lives. We are committed to living vibrant lives. In the last year we have been gathering with women and exploring these themes together. And we are excited to explore them with YOU!

Here are Some Logistics -

October 6th 10am-5pm

The retreat is limited to 10 women

The location is NE Portland. We will send you the address after you register.

The cost is $150

(lunch at a local restaurant is included)

This retreat is SOLD OUT!

This is our last retreat of 2018. We are so grateful for the women who have been gathering with us. If you are ready for a day of nourishment and connection we hope you will join us!


June 10, 2018

Wild At Heart: Fanning the flames of your inner fire

Wild at Heart

Nikki Weaver and I are excited to offer a full day women’s retreat this summer!

After our last two gatherings the feedback we received is that people want more – more movement, more time, more exercises, more connection.

In response, we’ve created:

Wild at Heart: Fanning the flames of your inner fire!

Together we will explore passion, love, connection and tending our own inner fires.

Nikki will be leading us in yoga before and after our lunch break. She’s promised to make us sweat and also lead us in a heart-centered practice.

I’ll be asking questions and leading exercises to explore passion, getting clear about what you want and feeling more alive and turned on in your life!

There will also be a foot soak, a fire ceremony and a sensual walk.

And we’ll be taking a lunch break together during the middle of the day to socialize and sit with each other in community.

We are so excited about this offering!

Here are Some Logistics -

July 28th 10am-5pm

The retreat is limited to 12 women

We’ll have snacks and drinks and will be having lunch together.

The location is NE Portland. We will send you the address after you register.

The cost is $150

Buy Now

We’re so excited to channel the heat of summer to experience more passion, self-love and deeper connection. Join us for a fun, fulfilling and fiery Saturday!

Use the “buy now” button to register or send me an email if you have any questions about the retreat.



January 19, 2018

Be Your Own Beloved: a gathering for women

be your own beloved

Nikki Weaver and I are thrilled to offer – Be Your Own Beloved!

Together we’ll explore what it means to love, honor and cherish ourselves!

One of the things we hear over and over from women is that it is so hard to prioritize yourself. Maybe you don’t have time or energy. Maybe you feel guilty or selfish. Maybe you are just too tired or depleted. Perhaps you don’t even know what it means to prioritize yourself. We get it. We know it can feel hard or even foreign to really focus on yourself (and asking you to do more than prioritize yourself, but treat yourself like you are beloved, may even feel scary!)

We also know the power of self-care, self-acceptance and self-love! We know that amazing things happen in your life when you love yourself and honor yourself. And we know the power of gathering a group of women! We know how validating and life-giving it is to sit with other women and laugh or cry or listen or share and hear, “me too!” or “You are not alone!”

Powerful things happen when we gather. Beautiful things happen when we gather. We are so excited to gather with YOU!

Together we will explore –

Self-care, self-love, self-acceptance – what do they all mean and how do you do them?

Being in your body and feeling pleasure in your body

What it means to be your own BELOVED

Light movement and exercises that will help you delight in your own body

Exercises and practices to help you honor your own wants and needs and treat yourself like the precious woman you are!

A Few Logistics –

April 21st from 11am-3pm

This event is limited to 12 women

We will have snacks and drinks

The location is NE Portland. We will send you the address after your register.

The cost is $100

Registration is closed. Subscribe to my free newsletter to receive updates about our future offerings.

What would it be like to also attend to your own wants and needs? What would it be like to prioritize yourself and your pleasure? What would it be like to be your own beloved?


November 17, 2017

Pleasure and Presence: A Gathering for Women

women's support

How do you nurture yourself during the holidays?

What happens to your self-care and self-love practice as the days get shorter and the to do lists get longer?

I know the holidays can be hard for many of us – Because of grief, or heartbreak, or overwhelm, or stress.

I know it’s easy to put yourself at the bottom of your priority list when it feels like there are so many other things that have to get done.

What would it be like to sit in a circle with other women – to feel seen, to feel understood, to share, to listen, to laugh, to connect, to slow down, to open to pleasure?

I’m so excited to be partnering with my friend, Nikki Weaver, to offer you just that!

On Sunday, December 10th we’re hosting – Pleasure and Presence: A Gathering for Women.

Together we will slow down and explore tangible ways you can be more present and explore more pleasure in your life (even during this busy season).

There will be -

Time for sharing and listening

Light movement

Exercises to help  you slow down and be in your body

And activities that will help you prioritize yourself and your pleasure even after you leave (and you will leave with a pleasure plan to help you relish the rest of this year!)

We’ll provide snacks and drinks

(and Nikki will be sending you home with a yummy scent to help you stay present and open to pleasure too)

As busy mom’s and business owners, we know how hard it can be to carve out time for yourself. We know what it’s like to feel stretched and tired and depleted. We also know the power of gathering in a group. We know how affirming it is do this work in the company of other women and hear, “me too!” or “You are not alone!” Powerful things happen when we gather. Beautiful things happen. And laughter happens too! We are looking forward to a nourishing and delight event!

Here are a few logistics -

December 10th from 4pm-6:30pm

This event is limited to 12 women

The location is NE Portland. We will send you the address after your register.

The cost is $65 and you can register by choosing the “add to cart” button below.

Add to Cart

So much about this time of year focuses on taking care of others and giving to others. This workshop is an opportunity to give to yourself. This is a chance for you to slow down, let yourself receive and honor what you want and need. We are so excited to gather with you!


June 12, 2017

Does your partner know what you want?

relationship romance

Have you told your partner how you like to be seduced?

Have you shared what makes your body sing and your lips part and your back arch?

Do you ask for what you want (in and out of the bedroom)?

I hope so.

And if not, what gets in the way?

Many of the people I talk with share that they shouldn’t have to tell their partner what they want. They say it takes the romance or excitement out of it to have to say it out loud. Or they say it makes it less special if they have to ask for it.

In some ways, I think that we’ve been condition to think that. We see it in movies or read about it in books. We dream of someone who will know our body better than we even know it.

So if our partner doesn’t know how we like to be kissed or what kind of foreplay we like or how to help us have an orgasm…we get annoyed. Or we get critical. Or we shut down. We blame them for not being skilled enough or intuitive enough.

And really it’s not fair.

If I asked you to make my favorite cake but refused to tell you what kind of a cake it was or how to make it, would that be fair?

Your partner can’t read your mind.

If there is something you would like, ask for it. There is no shame in asking.

And if you don’t know what you like or what you want, take some time and let yourself be curious. Explore on your own or with your partner.

(I  also know that some people have asked for what they want and aren’t getting it. Perhaps your partner needs some sex education. Or maybe your partner needs to work on listening or remembering what you like. It’s frustrating when you have been clear about what you want and you aren’t getting it. Check in with yourself about this. Does your partner not know what you want because they aren’t paying attention? Or is it because you haven’t asked for it?)


May 2, 2017

What replenishes you?

replenish recharge love

Self-care is such an important part of your health – it’s also easy to gloss over what it really means and how it really feels.

How do you practice self care?

Maybe you get a message or you do yoga. Perhaps eating well is a way you care for yourself. Getting enough sleep can be a form of self care.

So often when we talk about self-care, we focus on rest. Which is lovely. Yes, we need rest! When when you are depleted, it’s easy to mistake zoning out for rest. When you are overworked or stretched to your limit, it’s easy to collapse on the couch rather than do something that actually recharges you.

When we work until we collapse or give until we are depleted, we often don’t have the energy to focus on what will feel good and what will help us recharge. By that time we are so “empty” we just want to shut down.

I know that even though “vegging out” is seductive, I don’t always feel better afterward It doesn’t usually fill me back up.

What replenishes you?

Replenishment – or filling yourself back up – is a major key to self-care.

What fills your bucket?

What energizes you?

What gives you pleasure?

When you think about an activity, imagine how you will feel afterward.

For instance, sometimes when I think about going for a walk, I feel too tired…but when I focus on how I feel after my walk, I always feel better. I feel energized. I’ve connected to my senses, I’ve moved my body, I’ve cleared my brain, I feel replenished.

Here are other activities that may help you recharge or replenish –

Time with friends

Time in nature

Moving your body – this doesn’t have to be high impact, walking or dance counts

Sex (though when you are really depleted this can feel like “a chore” rather than something that fills you back up)

Creating something – art, food, knitting, working in your garden

Or witnessing art – go to a museum, see a play, experience music, be inspired or moved

Spend some quiet time by yourself – (without vegging out)  writing in your journal, meditating, sitting with yourself

And sometimes taking action – completing a task or finishing a project can feel very replenishing

Take a little self inventory – are you putting out more energy than you are getting back? Are you over extended? Are you depleted? Rest, recharging and replenishment are an essential part of your self care – they aren’t a reward, they are the foundation of your health. What fills you up? And what will you do to make it a priority for yourself?

Filed under: Pleasure, Self-care, Self-love — admin @ 10:30 pm

January 19, 2017

Awaken the Want

Turned On FINAL sans dates - lorez

Awaken the Want
and evening of exploration and storytelling
with Isabel Abbott and Julie Jeske

an evening of heeding the hunger and permission to want
and of finding the words to speak of all the things we are told to keep quiet.
of entering into the wide range of experiences in the geography of desire and arousal,
wanting and consent, giving and receiving.

There will be time to ask and enter into your questions,
reflect on your own embodied experiences and the languages of desire.
We will be listening to the space where the body and voice connect,
and what it feels like to locate our own self in our sexuality and experiences,
We will eat delicious food and sit in a safe space and begin to tell our stories.

And we would oh so love to have you there.
Thursday, May 4th
6-9pm

Portland, OR

Registration is closed – subscribe here if you want to be informed of future events.


October 30, 2016

Are you overwhelmed?

Do you often feel behind, busy or overwhelmed?

Are you exhausted? Depleted? Or burnt out?

Do you race from one place to the next because you are over scheduled?

Do you talk about how little time there is in the day?

stressed woman who is overwhelmed

I’ve noticed that we’ve started using “busy” as a feeling.

“How are you?” “I’m busy!” “Me too! And I’m so tired!”

I do it too.  I’ve also realized that the more I talk about how busy I am, the busier I feel! (A couple months ago I noticed I was doing the same thing when I talked about being tired. I was so in the habit of being tired that sometimes I said I was tired before actually checking in with myself to see if that was true!)

The more I talk about (or think about) being overwhelmed, the more overwhelmed I feel! It becomes a negative feedback loop. And nothing changes!

If you are also overly busy or overwhelmed, I empathize with you. So many of us truly have a lot going on! You may be working, running a business, raising kids, prioritizing a relationship, taking care of someone who is sick, feeling overwhelmed by the election, experiencing grief or experiencing any number of things that are taking your time and energy. It’s a lot. And it’s easy to feel alone and unsupported. It’s hard to balance (or attempt to) all of the things in our lives. So please be gentle with yourself.

Here are some things you can do to help decrease overwhelm.

Schedule time for rest, joy or pleasure – If your schedule is full make sure there are things you like to do on your calendar is well. If you can carve out specific time to rest or have fun, that will help. I wrote about creating space for desire a couple months ago. If you want to experience more of something, make sure there is room for it in your life.

Pay attention to how you talk – Do you talk about how busy you are or how overwhelmed you are? If so, ask yourself if it’s true. Are you being loving toward yourself? Are you demanding? Would you talk the same way to or about a friend?

Stop comparing yourself - I hear from so many women in my practice who feel like other woman are doing more than they are. They are comparing themselves and pushing themselves to keep up with this imaginary ideal. I remember when I worked a corporate job years ago and people seemed to brag about how little sleep they got or how busy they were. It was almost a competition to see who was working harder or resting less. This isn’t a competition, it’s your life. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing or not doing. Plus, you don’t really know what’s happening at home behind closed doors. Just because someone is slaying it on Instagram, doesn’t mean their life is without challenge, pain or unhappiness.

Clear out your clutter – If you are constantly moving the same pile of paperwork around your home, that is going to lead to overwhelm. The same is true for the clutter in your brain. Take some time. Unplug. Take a break from social media or tv. Ask yourself what you really have to do and what you can let go of.

Ask for help - Where can you delegate? Where can you get support? You don’t have to do it on your own.

Life is full. Many of us have way too much on our plate. It’s hard. Being busy and overwhelmed will take a toll. And the way to move away from overwhelm is to slow down and take some space. It’s not always easy (it may feel especially challenging because it’s new and new things are often uncomfortable at first). It takes practice. And small changes can add up quickly (you many not have the time or resources to schedule an entire day of rest or pleasure, try 30 minutes to start)!

In the interest of slowing down and feeling more joy. I’ll be hosting a one day Pleasure and Presence retreat in Portland. I missing sitting with a group of women and talking about how we are feeling, getting support and encouraging each other. It will take place in early December and be the perfect way to slow down and be truly present during this busy season. I’ll be sharing more details about my retreat soon. The first details will go out to my newsletter subscribers.

Filed under: Change, Joy, Pleasure, Self-care, Self-love, Workshop, health — admin @ 3:26 pm

July 27, 2016

Be in your body

Dancing

Are you connected to your body?

Do you pause and check in with your body throughout the day? Right now, can you put your attention on your feet, your arms, you belly, you genitals? What do you notice?

So many of us are busy. We are over scheduled and under rested. We are running from one thing to the next and rather than slowing down and feeling our body, we are constantly in our heads thinking about what is next (or worrying about what we didn’t get done).

We are living in our heads and not our bodies.

It’s great to spend time in your head. It will help you balance your checkbook, remember to turn the stove off and drive your car to work.

Being in your head doesn’t help you feel joy, open to a spectacular sexual experience or dance with abandon! In fact. if you are in your head when you have sex or dance you will often be second guessing what you are doing – ‘How do I look right now? Is my partner enjoying this? Am I taking too long?’

If you are in your head, you are thinking (or worrying) about your experience rather than truly living in.

Being in your body helps you FEEL your experience. It allows you to open to pleasure, joy, passion or excitement.

One of the easiest ways to be in your body is to tune into your senses -

What do I feel, taste, hear, smell or see?

You can check in with your senses throughout the day or really focus on them when you are in your head but want to be in your body (this is a great tool to use during sex!)

Being in your body is a key ingredient for unbridled joy and great sex. It’s something that I’ve talked about at length in my Sensuous Woman Facebook group. If you would like to be part of a community with other women who are tuning in to pleasure, joy, self-care and sensuality, please join my private Facebook group.

Filed under: Body-Image, Desire, Joy, Pleasure, Self-care, Self-love, Sensuality, health — admin @ 9:23 am

Older Posts »