Love letters make love stay visible. You can rub it, smell it, touch it, share it and sleep with it under your pillow. Sark
Have you ever received a love letter? How did it make you feel? You might be thinking that love letters are silly or “old-fashioned.” The truth is love letters can make your beloved feel valued and cherished.
There was a time when love letters were more common and even necessary to share your feelings (if distance got in the way of face to face contact). Now people may rely on the phone, text messages or even facebook to share their feelings. All of those things can be great, I would still recommend trying a love letter. You can come up with fun ways to adapt a love letter, like leaving notes around the house, or even recording a message of love, I still think an old-fashioned love letter can pack a lot of punch!
The purpose of a love letter is to tell that special someone what they mean to you. Here are a few ways to start your love letter.
Tell your partner what you love about her.
Share what made you fall in love.
Write about how your partner makes you feel.
Write about your favorite memories.
Fantasize about future moments you want to create and share.
If you feel uncertain about expressing yourself, find a love poem or a sonnet and use that for inspiration.
Love letters are great for a special occasion and can be even more powerful when sent (or given) for no reason at all! Break out some parchment and a quill and tell your lover just how much she means to you!
Are you looking for more help in the romance department? Check out these posts.
Would you rather get “Valentine’s Day flowers” or “Just Because flowers”?
What’s more meaningful – a special present for your birthday or a special present for no special reason at all?
What’s more touching – a card on your anniversary or a card on a plain old Tuesday?
What’s more surprising – a birthday cake or a cupcake on a date that holds no special meaning for you?
While gifts and cards are wonderful ways to celebrate special occasions, they are often “expected ways” of celebrating those occasions.
Gifts, notes, cards or adoring words “just because” aren’t “just because.” They are “just because I love you” or “just because I was thinking of you.” If you are out at the store and see your partner’s favorite magazine and buy it for her…it’s because you were thinking of her. If you are shopping and see a shirt that would look great on your guy and you bring it home, it’s because you love him. If you stick a little love note in your partner’s bag it’s because you want your partner to feel special.
It’s wonderful to celebrate the special moments in your lives. It’s also very powerful to celebrate your partner “just because!”
Need a little help coming up with ways to say I love you? Check out this post.
Here are some ways you can add a little romance to your relationship –
Buy your partner flowers “just because”
Add a heart, word or a special image to your partner’s coffee, breakfast, dinner or treat
Slip a love note into your lover’s bag, purse or coat pocket
Write your mate a letter sharing your feelings of love and appreciation. If you struggle with expressing your feelings, find a poem, quote or song lyrics that sum up how you feel. You can deliver the letter in person or send it in the mail.
Cook for your partner
Plan a special date or romantic getaway
Write “I love you” on the bathroom mirror or with chalk on the sidewalk
Leave a glass of wine waiting for your partner when she walks through the door. Place a note next to it asking her to join you outside to watch the sunset.
Surprise your partner with a gift
Begin and end your day with a compliment or expression of gratitude
Read to each other before bed (you can always spice this one up by reading erotica to each other)
Romance is not “one size fits all.” If you aren’t sure what your partner finds romantic, you can always ask. Romance is about being thoughtful, making your partner feel loved or cherished and doing something special for the special person in your life. Romance is best when done without ulterior motives, however, don’t be surprised if your romantic gestures bring extra loving attention your way!
Romance gets a bad rap. It’s called silly or girly or is put in the same category as “puppy love.” People sometimes shy away from romance because they don’t want to look wimpy. If you would like more romance in your life you might judge yourself saying it’s for young girls or belongs in the movies.
Here’s the reality about romance. Strong, independent women can desire romance. Strong, independent men can desire romance. If you yearn for romance, that doesn’t mean you are silly or a wimp…it just means you yearn for romance.
Romance can be a great addition to a relationship. Romance can bring a sense of adventure or giddiness to your partnership. Being romantic toward your partner can make him or her feel attended to, important or beloved.
Sometimes being romantic can feel like a risk because you don’t know how it will be received. It takes a brave person to be romantic.
If you want to be romantic but flowers or poetry aren’t your thing, don’t worry, romance can take on many different forms. Tomorrow I will post a list of ways you can add romance to your relationship.
Here are a few simple ways to turn up the heat on your summer picnic!
Find a location – You don’t have to leave your house to have a sensual picnic. Make sure you choose a space that is private and allows you to feel comfortable expressing yourself. You’ll want a location that has minimal distractions.
Gather supplies – This is a sensual picnic so find ways to titillate your senses! Choose a blanket that feels good to the touch. Play with lighting and sound. Choose clothing that delights your senses (you can go nude if you like, if you would prefer clothes find something that is comfortable and is also pleasing to touch).
Choose your food – It wouldn’t be a picnic without food right? Choose foods that inspire your senses (visually beautiful, vibrant smells, sweet or salty or bitter tastes, rich in texture, things that make an interesting sound when you bite into them).
Then put it all together!
Create your ideal environment, clear you schedule and get ready to connect with your partner!
You may want to set a few boundaries before you get started. Will you be feeding each other? You may want to experiment with a blindfold and have your partner feed you…notice the way your other senses heighten when you don’t rely on your sight. Do you want to experiment with touch during your picnic? Do you want the picnic to lead to something sexual? It’s OK to have the picnic be the main event. If you haven’t connected sexually with your partner in a while a sensual picnic can be a nice way to break the ice and help you explore physical intimacy (without having sex). If you decide you want the picnic to be foreplay and you want to connect sexually as dessert, that is great too! Just make sure you are on the same page.
You don’t have to buy diamonds or use skywriting to tell your partner you care. Small (inexpensive) expressions of love go a really long way!
Give small gifts when they aren’t expected. Sure you might give flowers or a card on Valentine’s Day or your Anniversary, but what about giving a card “just because?”
Pick up your partner’s favorite treat the next time you are at the store. Whether it’s candy, a beverage or a magazine – bringing home something without being asked shows you are thinking of your mate.
Leave little notes around the house. On each note write something you love about your partner, something you appreciate or a compliment. (for example, “I love your smile.” “I feel so lucky to be loved by you.” “You are the best kisser.”)
Say nice things about your mate in front of someone else. Tell your friends how amazing your partner is, how great he is at his job or how lucky you feel to be with him.
Listen. Seems like a small thing, right? But we are all so good at multitasking these days…so put down the remote, look in her eyes and really listen.
Ask a question. Ask your love about his day. Ask him what he thinks about things (what he wants for dinner, where he wants to go on your next vacation, how he would like to be seduced). After you ask, listen to what he says.
Give a compliment. An unsolicited compliment can feel wonderful. Don’t wait to be asked, “How do I look?” Tell her she looks great. Tell her you think she is an amazing mother. Tell her you are impressed by her business savvy. You know those things you are thinking? Those things you love about your partner? Say them out loud!
Call or send a text in the middle of the day. Just because you typically talk at lunch time doesn’t mean you can’t send an “I love you” text at 10am. Checking in with a message of love during the day shows you are thinking of him and that can feel really great. (Just make sure you are mindful of your partner’s schedule. If he has a huge meeting or an important presentation he might not have the time to talk.)
Make time for your relationship. Carve out time for your partner. Whether it means you get to go on a date or even sit on the couch together and talk about your day, let her know you WANT to spend time with her.
Use your talents. If you are a wonderful cook or a fabulous baker then make a treat for your lover. If you are a poet or songwriter, let your mate be your muse. If you struggle creatively then you can put your favorite picture in a frame for your partner or give him a foot rub.
Say, “I love you.” Sure you may already tell your partner you love her. Notice how you say it. Is it in passing or something you say out of habit rather than saying it intentionally? Next time you want to let her know how special she is, look in her eyes and tell her you love her. And if you want to turn it up a notch, say her name first and then say, “I love you.”
This week I spent some time at the Rodin Museum and I found myself swooning all over the place!
The grounds, the flowers, the art and the atmosphere are all so lovely!
And don’t even get my started about the sculpture! The smooth lines exalting the female form.
And the delicious lovers wrapped in each others’ arms!
I suppose I am a romantic at heart!
Sometimes I think romance gets lost in the shuffle in our busy lives. I created a video postcard to talk about romance and small ways to bring it into your relationship.
Romance doesn’t have to be reserved for chick flicks, romance novels or the beginning of a relationship. A little romance can go a long way to make your partner feel loved, appreciated and cherished.
A sexy text on my way home, telling him to get ready for me A sensual massage
I grab her and start kissing her up against the wall
I leave a trail of my clothes for him to find when he comes home from work. They lead to the bedroom. When he gets to the room, he finds me naked.
Have a bath drawn for your partner when she gets home…add a glass of wine, a massage and spend lots of time on foreplay
Make a sexy dinner, full of sensual food and serve it in an apron and nothing else
If you’ve been together for a while, you might not be seducing her at all. The lead up to your lovemaking might be habit, routine or something more like a contract rather than a seduction (if we can have sex now I will do the dishes and walk the dog later tonight).
Sometimes I talk with people who say that don’t know how to seduce their partner. They feel silly or unsure or they just blank. You can use some of the ideas listed above. Or you could go right to the source. Ask your partner how she wants to be seduced. Ask what she thinks is sexy or what she fantasizes about. And make sure you reciprocate by sharing how you would like to be seduced. Create a “seduction box” and fill it with scenarios you each find appealing. Then when you are feeling frisky, pull a seduction suggestion out of the box and use it to inspire you.
Part of what makes us feel cared for or beloved is knowing our partner is thinking about us and putting effort into the relationship. You don’t have to plan a day long seduction or be a sexual dynamo to make your partner feel loved. Put a little attention into your seduction and watch that energy come back to you.
People often use the words sensuality and sexuality as if they mean the same thing. Sensuality is related to the senses, anything that involves your senses. I created this video to talk about sensuality and how it can enrich your life.
Here is my June Newsleter – it was inspired by my trip to Europe. The trip still has me thinking about ways to slow down, cultivate romance and intimacy and really enjoy life. I will have more to say about those themes in future newsletters.
