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Archive: Romance
June 19, 2010
June 11, 2010
When talking with clients and even with friends, I often hear, “But I don’t have time for that!” People talk of feeling stressed or overworked or disconnected from their partner. I ask, “What about a vacation?” I don’t have time (or money) for that! “An overnight trip?” I don’t have time for that! “Date night?” I don’t have time for that! So what do you have time for? Can you carve out 30 minutes with your partner? No? Can you commit to 10 minutes? A really good 10 minutes can do wonders for your stress level and for your relationship. The most important thing is making sure that the time is intentional. Put it on your calendar and agree on how you are going to spend the time beforehand. What can you do in 10 minutes?
Do something that feels so good that you want to use more than your allotted 10 minutes. Make it so fulfilling, so juicy, that you will want to schedule more time next time. Once you see how good 10 minutes feels, next time you will want a half an hour. Give it to yourself! And once you get used to carving that time out, then date night and maybe even a vacation aren’t too far behind. Think of this time as a small way you can recharge your relationship. You have to charge your cell phone right? You can’t talk and talk and talk and expect the battery to last. You need to (re)charge yourself and your relationship too. And the more charged it is, the better it feels (works) between charges. So instead of “I don’t have time” or “I can’t afford it” it’s time to say “I will make time” (even if it’s 10 minutes) and “I can’t afford to not take the time.” 10 minutes. You can find 10 minutes. Stop reading this post and go smooch on your partner! Take those 10 minutes, starting….Now!
March 10, 2010
When is the last time you kissed your partner? I’m not talking about a peck on your way out the door or an obligatory kiss as part of foreplay. When is the last time you shared a really good kiss? I call those kinds of kisses “Ooh Baby Baby Kisses.”
Sometimes in relationships we forget about ooh baby baby kissing. We are busy with work or kids or life in general. We stick with pecking or quick kisses because they feel easier. Sometimes we worry that if we do give in to a long luxurious kiss that will mean we need to do something else…we might have to have sex after that long kiss. But think back, think back to the beginning of your relationship or think back to your first few kisses. Think back to a time where a kiss was a kiss and you really enjoyed it. What would it be like to bring that kind of kiss into your relationship? What would it be like to swoop up to your partner today and plant a big ole kiss right on his/her lips? Not an obligatory kiss, but a kiss full of intention. A kiss that says, “I’m attracted to you.” or “I really love you.” or “I miss the days when we fooled around.” And who doesn’t want to feel that their partner really wants to kiss them?
If things feel a little predictable or even stale in your relationship, an ooh baby baby kiss might be just enough to spice things up. And even if things feel good, an ooh baby baby kiss, won’t hurt. It’s one small thing you can do for your relationship today. It doesn’t cost money, it won’t take a ton of time. So pucker up and put a little spice back in your relationship today!
March 3, 2010
It can be really hard to feel like you are more invested in your relationship than your partner is. If you feel this way, how do you know it’s the case? Have you talked to your partner about connecting more and gotten a negative response? Or are you just waiting to see if your partner will make the first move. Sometimes partners are waiting for each other to take action, they are both invested, but both hoping the other will do something first. So before you assume your partner isn’t interested, it’s important to find out for sure.
Rather than turning to your partner and saying, “I want to make our relationship a priority, do you?” you can start with, “I miss connecting with you, can we do something special this week?” Making your relationship a priority doesn’t have to be a chore. I can be a fun, sexy infusion for your relationship.
Here are a few ways you can help your partner make your relationship a priority.
You can see more about this topic if you watch the video from my visit to Keep It Local.
February 23, 2010
In the beginning of a relationship we see fireworks and have butterflies. We stay up late talking and laughing and sometimes we wake up in the middle of the night just to make love. As time goes on, things change. Feelings often deepen, however life happens. And people yearn for the passion and romance of those early days. I liken it to a shiny new toy on Christmas morning. In the beginning it is new and exciting and as time goes on we become accustomed to it. We still love it, but it’s not new and thrilling anymore.
The reality is that if you want your relationship to be a priority, then you have to do something about it. I talked about this very topic on “Keep It Local.”
What if you want to make your relationship a priority, but your partner doesn’t? Well, tune in to “Keep It Local” on Wednesday at 4pm. That’s the very think I’ll be talking about!
February 3, 2010
We’ve all heard those “valentine’s day horror stories.” I remember an acquaintance who really wanted an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day but instead her boyfriend got her an exercise machine. Never mind that she didn’t get engaged, she also worried that her boyfriend thought she was “fat.” When your partner doesn’t know about your expectations, it’s possible to “miss” each other. It’s important to be on the same page about your Valentine’s Day Expectations.
Tips for getting on the same page -
Do you have to celebrate Valentine’s Day? Of course not. However, if your partner would really like to and you ignore her requests, she may feel disappointed. I knew a guy who said, “I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I believe it should be Valentine’s Day, every day!” I remember thinking that was romantic and really sweet. That was until I got to see how he treated his wife. I quickly discovered that that was not the case. It was not Valentine’s Day in their house every day (nor was it Valentine’s Day on February 14th!) Don’t kid yourself (or your partner). If you don’t believe in Valentine’s Day, that’s fine. If you are just too lazy to celebrate, that’s a different story.
If you have a strong idea of how you would like to spend Valentine’s Day, it’s time to tell your partner. The only way you can get what you want, is to ask for it!