Archive: Self-love

August 19, 2018

Vibrant Living

vibrant living

What makes you feel alive?

What replenishes you and fills you up?

Are you living a life that energizes and excites you?

With everything going on in the world and so many things competing for our time and energy it’s easy to feel depleted. It’s easy to just go through the motions. But so many of us are wanting more. So many of us are wanting to feel more vitality, more joy, more connection…

Nikki Weaver and I are excited to announce our next one day retreat for women -

Vibrant Living

Together we will explore self-care, passion, pleasure and joy.

You’ll leave feeling nourished and connected and with a plan for living your own vibrant life!

Nikki will be leading us in yoga before and after our lunch break.

I’ll be asking questions and leading exercises to explore passion, presence and getting clear about what you want in your life.

There will be mindfulness, guided meditation, and a sound bath.

There will be time to share, to listen, to reflect and to connect with other women.

For lunch we’ll walk to a local restaurant to socialize and sit with each other in community.

We are so excited about this offering!

Nikki and I have been exploring what it means to live with presence, pleasure and purpose in our own lives. We are committed to living vibrant lives. In the last year we have been gathering with women and exploring these themes together. And we are excited to explore them with YOU!

Here are Some Logistics -

October 6th 10am-5pm

The retreat is limited to 10 women

The location is NE Portland. We will send you the address after you register.

The cost is $150

(lunch at a local restaurant is included)

This retreat is SOLD OUT!

This is our last retreat of 2018. We are so grateful for the women who have been gathering with us. If you are ready for a day of nourishment and connection we hope you will join us!


June 10, 2018

Wild At Heart: Fanning the flames of your inner fire

Wild at Heart

Nikki Weaver and I are excited to offer a full day women’s retreat this summer!

After our last two gatherings the feedback we received is that people want more – more movement, more time, more exercises, more connection.

In response, we’ve created:

Wild at Heart: Fanning the flames of your inner fire!

Together we will explore passion, love, connection and tending our own inner fires.

Nikki will be leading us in yoga before and after our lunch break. She’s promised to make us sweat and also lead us in a heart-centered practice.

I’ll be asking questions and leading exercises to explore passion, getting clear about what you want and feeling more alive and turned on in your life!

There will also be a foot soak, a fire ceremony and a sensual walk.

And we’ll be taking a lunch break together during the middle of the day to socialize and sit with each other in community.

We are so excited about this offering!

Here are Some Logistics -

July 28th 10am-5pm

The retreat is limited to 12 women

We’ll have snacks and drinks and will be having lunch together.

The location is NE Portland. We will send you the address after you register.

The cost is $150

Buy Now

We’re so excited to channel the heat of summer to experience more passion, self-love and deeper connection. Join us for a fun, fulfilling and fiery Saturday!

Use the “buy now” button to register or send me an email if you have any questions about the retreat.



January 19, 2018

Be Your Own Beloved: a gathering for women

be your own beloved

Nikki Weaver and I are thrilled to offer – Be Your Own Beloved!

Together we’ll explore what it means to love, honor and cherish ourselves!

One of the things we hear over and over from women is that it is so hard to prioritize yourself. Maybe you don’t have time or energy. Maybe you feel guilty or selfish. Maybe you are just too tired or depleted. Perhaps you don’t even know what it means to prioritize yourself. We get it. We know it can feel hard or even foreign to really focus on yourself (and asking you to do more than prioritize yourself, but treat yourself like you are beloved, may even feel scary!)

We also know the power of self-care, self-acceptance and self-love! We know that amazing things happen in your life when you love yourself and honor yourself. And we know the power of gathering a group of women! We know how validating and life-giving it is to sit with other women and laugh or cry or listen or share and hear, “me too!” or “You are not alone!”

Powerful things happen when we gather. Beautiful things happen when we gather. We are so excited to gather with YOU!

Together we will explore –

Self-care, self-love, self-acceptance – what do they all mean and how do you do them?

Being in your body and feeling pleasure in your body

What it means to be your own BELOVED

Light movement and exercises that will help you delight in your own body

Exercises and practices to help you honor your own wants and needs and treat yourself like the precious woman you are!

A Few Logistics –

April 21st from 11am-3pm

This event is limited to 12 women

We will have snacks and drinks

The location is NE Portland. We will send you the address after your register.

The cost is $100

Registration is closed. Subscribe to my free newsletter to receive updates about our future offerings.

What would it be like to also attend to your own wants and needs? What would it be like to prioritize yourself and your pleasure? What would it be like to be your own beloved?


November 17, 2017

Pleasure and Presence: A Gathering for Women

women's support

How do you nurture yourself during the holidays?

What happens to your self-care and self-love practice as the days get shorter and the to do lists get longer?

I know the holidays can be hard for many of us – Because of grief, or heartbreak, or overwhelm, or stress.

I know it’s easy to put yourself at the bottom of your priority list when it feels like there are so many other things that have to get done.

What would it be like to sit in a circle with other women – to feel seen, to feel understood, to share, to listen, to laugh, to connect, to slow down, to open to pleasure?

I’m so excited to be partnering with my friend, Nikki Weaver, to offer you just that!

On Sunday, December 10th we’re hosting – Pleasure and Presence: A Gathering for Women.

Together we will slow down and explore tangible ways you can be more present and explore more pleasure in your life (even during this busy season).

There will be -

Time for sharing and listening

Light movement

Exercises to help  you slow down and be in your body

And activities that will help you prioritize yourself and your pleasure even after you leave (and you will leave with a pleasure plan to help you relish the rest of this year!)

We’ll provide snacks and drinks

(and Nikki will be sending you home with a yummy scent to help you stay present and open to pleasure too)

As busy mom’s and business owners, we know how hard it can be to carve out time for yourself. We know what it’s like to feel stretched and tired and depleted. We also know the power of gathering in a group. We know how affirming it is do this work in the company of other women and hear, “me too!” or “You are not alone!” Powerful things happen when we gather. Beautiful things happen. And laughter happens too! We are looking forward to a nourishing and delight event!

Here are a few logistics -

December 10th from 4pm-6:30pm

This event is limited to 12 women

The location is NE Portland. We will send you the address after your register.

The cost is $65 and you can register by choosing the “add to cart” button below.

Add to Cart

So much about this time of year focuses on taking care of others and giving to others. This workshop is an opportunity to give to yourself. This is a chance for you to slow down, let yourself receive and honor what you want and need. We are so excited to gather with you!


May 2, 2017

What replenishes you?

replenish recharge love

Self-care is such an important part of your health – it’s also easy to gloss over what it really means and how it really feels.

How do you practice self care?

Maybe you get a message or you do yoga. Perhaps eating well is a way you care for yourself. Getting enough sleep can be a form of self care.

So often when we talk about self-care, we focus on rest. Which is lovely. Yes, we need rest! When when you are depleted, it’s easy to mistake zoning out for rest. When you are overworked or stretched to your limit, it’s easy to collapse on the couch rather than do something that actually recharges you.

When we work until we collapse or give until we are depleted, we often don’t have the energy to focus on what will feel good and what will help us recharge. By that time we are so “empty” we just want to shut down.

I know that even though “vegging out” is seductive, I don’t always feel better afterward It doesn’t usually fill me back up.

What replenishes you?

Replenishment – or filling yourself back up – is a major key to self-care.

What fills your bucket?

What energizes you?

What gives you pleasure?

When you think about an activity, imagine how you will feel afterward.

For instance, sometimes when I think about going for a walk, I feel too tired…but when I focus on how I feel after my walk, I always feel better. I feel energized. I’ve connected to my senses, I’ve moved my body, I’ve cleared my brain, I feel replenished.

Here are other activities that may help you recharge or replenish –

Time with friends

Time in nature

Moving your body – this doesn’t have to be high impact, walking or dance counts

Sex (though when you are really depleted this can feel like “a chore” rather than something that fills you back up)

Creating something – art, food, knitting, working in your garden

Or witnessing art – go to a museum, see a play, experience music, be inspired or moved

Spend some quiet time by yourself – (without vegging out)  writing in your journal, meditating, sitting with yourself

And sometimes taking action – completing a task or finishing a project can feel very replenishing

Take a little self inventory – are you putting out more energy than you are getting back? Are you over extended? Are you depleted? Rest, recharging and replenishment are an essential part of your self care – they aren’t a reward, they are the foundation of your health. What fills you up? And what will you do to make it a priority for yourself?

Filed under: Pleasure, Self-care, Self-love — admin @ 10:30 pm

November 24, 2016

5 ways to heal your heart

broken heart

What do you do when your heart is hurting?

How do you grieve?

How do you cope with loss?

What do you do when your feelings are hurt?

What do you do when a relationship ends?

How do you go on when your dreams are crushed?

Do you try to cheer yourself up? Do you get trapped in a cycle of despair? Do you disconnect from your feelings completely? Do you feel stuck or lost?

There is no easy fix for heartbreak. We also have a lot of messages in our culture about “bucking up” or not being a crybaby or getting over things. We call certain emotions “positive” and others “negative.” Also, let’s be honest, it doesn’t feel good when your heart is hurting. It makes sense to try to avoid feeling way. But stuffing or ignoring your feelings doesn’t usually help heart ache (it often prolongs it).

Here are 5 things you can do when your heart aches.

Feel your feelings

The only way out is through. It’s hard to believe when you are in the midst of pain that one day you will feel better. Just like the sun rises after a long dark night, you will feel better eventually…but night comes before the dawn. Cry. Spend the day in your pjs. Get angry. Don’t ignore the pain. Move with it and through it. Cry some more. You don’t need to deny or ignore your experience.

Get support

Take to a friend. Find a therapist. Join a support group. When you are in pain, it’s easy to feel alone. While you are a unique person with unique experiences, pain and heartache are universal. Having someone else who can remind you that you are not alone or say “Me too” can be wildly comforting.

Ask for what you want/need

What will help you feel better? What do you really need right now? Once you identify it, ask for it. We all process grief or sadness or pain a bit differently. The people who are close to you may not know what will be most supportive for you. Check in with yourself and then share your requests with them.

Take action

If your heart is aching in response to injustice or pain in the world. You can take action in response. Volunteer, donate money, find a way to show up and support the people and causes you believe in. If you’re experiencing a personal heartache, you can still take action. Take a walk. Get rid of clothes or belongings that no longer reflect who you are or how you want to feel. Clean your house. It’s easy to feel helpless and stuck when you are hurting. Feeling your feelings is different than giving up or feeling stuck. (If you are prone to depression or anxiety taking action is very hard to do alone. Support and empathy will be essential helping you heal your heart.)

Give love

I know from experience that when I’m feeling sad or lonely, one of the things that helps is to share love with others. First though, I need to feel my feelings and identify what I need and get support so I feel like I have the capacity to give love to another. And then reaching out with a card, doing a random act of kindness, letting someone know I see them or admire them, or helping someone feel special can actually make ME feel better. This won’t work if you are not also willing to receive love and get support. If you try to give love when you are depleted, you can feel resentful.

Living and loving and being present means sometimes your heart will hurt. And when it does, I hope these actions will help you move through the pain and back toward open hearted living.

Filed under: Change, Emotions, Love, Self-care, Self-love, Support, Vulnerability — admin @ 10:27 pm

October 30, 2016

Are you overwhelmed?

Do you often feel behind, busy or overwhelmed?

Are you exhausted? Depleted? Or burnt out?

Do you race from one place to the next because you are over scheduled?

Do you talk about how little time there is in the day?

stressed woman who is overwhelmed

I’ve noticed that we’ve started using “busy” as a feeling.

“How are you?” “I’m busy!” “Me too! And I’m so tired!”

I do it too.  I’ve also realized that the more I talk about how busy I am, the busier I feel! (A couple months ago I noticed I was doing the same thing when I talked about being tired. I was so in the habit of being tired that sometimes I said I was tired before actually checking in with myself to see if that was true!)

The more I talk about (or think about) being overwhelmed, the more overwhelmed I feel! It becomes a negative feedback loop. And nothing changes!

If you are also overly busy or overwhelmed, I empathize with you. So many of us truly have a lot going on! You may be working, running a business, raising kids, prioritizing a relationship, taking care of someone who is sick, feeling overwhelmed by the election, experiencing grief or experiencing any number of things that are taking your time and energy. It’s a lot. And it’s easy to feel alone and unsupported. It’s hard to balance (or attempt to) all of the things in our lives. So please be gentle with yourself.

Here are some things you can do to help decrease overwhelm.

Schedule time for rest, joy or pleasure – If your schedule is full make sure there are things you like to do on your calendar is well. If you can carve out specific time to rest or have fun, that will help. I wrote about creating space for desire a couple months ago. If you want to experience more of something, make sure there is room for it in your life.

Pay attention to how you talk – Do you talk about how busy you are or how overwhelmed you are? If so, ask yourself if it’s true. Are you being loving toward yourself? Are you demanding? Would you talk the same way to or about a friend?

Stop comparing yourself - I hear from so many women in my practice who feel like other woman are doing more than they are. They are comparing themselves and pushing themselves to keep up with this imaginary ideal. I remember when I worked a corporate job years ago and people seemed to brag about how little sleep they got or how busy they were. It was almost a competition to see who was working harder or resting less. This isn’t a competition, it’s your life. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing or not doing. Plus, you don’t really know what’s happening at home behind closed doors. Just because someone is slaying it on Instagram, doesn’t mean their life is without challenge, pain or unhappiness.

Clear out your clutter – If you are constantly moving the same pile of paperwork around your home, that is going to lead to overwhelm. The same is true for the clutter in your brain. Take some time. Unplug. Take a break from social media or tv. Ask yourself what you really have to do and what you can let go of.

Ask for help - Where can you delegate? Where can you get support? You don’t have to do it on your own.

Life is full. Many of us have way too much on our plate. It’s hard. Being busy and overwhelmed will take a toll. And the way to move away from overwhelm is to slow down and take some space. It’s not always easy (it may feel especially challenging because it’s new and new things are often uncomfortable at first). It takes practice. And small changes can add up quickly (you many not have the time or resources to schedule an entire day of rest or pleasure, try 30 minutes to start)!

In the interest of slowing down and feeling more joy. I’ll be hosting a one day Pleasure and Presence retreat in Portland. I missing sitting with a group of women and talking about how we are feeling, getting support and encouraging each other. It will take place in early December and be the perfect way to slow down and be truly present during this busy season. I’ll be sharing more details about my retreat soon. The first details will go out to my newsletter subscribers.

Filed under: Change, Joy, Pleasure, Self-care, Self-love, Workshop, health — admin @ 3:26 pm

August 29, 2016

Self Acceptance is an act of love

self acceptance as an act of love

Photo by Stacy De La Rosa

Are there parts of yourself you have a hard time loving?

Does your inner critic insist that you need to be better, smarter, thinner, kinder or more attractive?

Do you tell yourself once you lose the weight or find your mate or get your dream job – that THEN you will be able to love yourself?

Self acceptance is an act of love.

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It is not resignation or forfeiture.

You can want to change or shift or grow and still love and accept yourself.

You can strive for more and also accept yourself. You can love yourself and want more. You can love yourself and want to change.

In fact, you are more likely to grow and shift and change and expand when you are operating from a base of love.

Self acceptance doesn’t mean pretending to love yourself or pretending you are excited about something that you want to be different.

Acceptance is an acknowledgement.

Acceptance is unconditional love.

It is surrender.

It’s a full exhale.

It’s an honoring of who you are and what is true.

Self acceptance is an act of love.

I’m going live in my Sensuous Woman Facebook group to talk more about acceptance. Join us here.

Filed under: Body-Image, Love, Self-care, Self-love — admin @ 3:41 pm

August 17, 2016

Look between your legs with love

Ladies, when it the last time you looked between your legs?

self exam

For starters, when is the last time you gave yourself a self-exam? One of the ways you can love yourself and advocate for your health is by taking care of your genital health. Look at the tissue of your genitals, notice any lumps or bumps or changes. Get familiar with your body.

Here is a resource if you would like help with a vaginal exam.

Now that you know how to give yourself an “exam,” how about looking at your body with love?

I’ve spoken with so many women who don’t know what their own bodies look like.

I’ve spoken with so many women who feel “grossed out” or uncomfortable with their genitals.

I’ve spoken with so many women who have an aversion to their own bodies.

The more familiar you are with your body, the more likely you will be able to track any changes that need attention. AND the more you look at your body with love and gratitude, the more pleasure you will be able to feel.

Can you look at your body without criticism or trying to compare it to other bodies? (especially bodies that might be photoshopped or altered?)

Look at the curves and colors and beauty. Notice how things respond or change as you touch yourself. Try to interrupt your inner critic and send love to all your lady parts. Whisper, “I love you” “You are beautiful” or “Thank you” as you gaze at your body. It may feel silly at first, but it is an act of self love and kindness.

How you feel about your body affects your sex life and your capacity for pleasure. How you feel about your body affects more than that, it affects how you show up in the world.

Looking for more information about body love? Check out -

Vaginas are like snowflakes

Do you owe your body and apology?

What do you call it?

5 reasons masturbation is great!

You might also like to join my private Facebook group – Sensuous Woman. It’s a private space for women to talk about sensuality, sexuality, body love and being a woman.

Filed under: Self-care, Self-love, Sexual Being, Sexuality, health — admin @ 4:43 pm

July 27, 2016

Be in your body

Dancing

Are you connected to your body?

Do you pause and check in with your body throughout the day? Right now, can you put your attention on your feet, your arms, you belly, you genitals? What do you notice?

So many of us are busy. We are over scheduled and under rested. We are running from one thing to the next and rather than slowing down and feeling our body, we are constantly in our heads thinking about what is next (or worrying about what we didn’t get done).

We are living in our heads and not our bodies.

It’s great to spend time in your head. It will help you balance your checkbook, remember to turn the stove off and drive your car to work.

Being in your head doesn’t help you feel joy, open to a spectacular sexual experience or dance with abandon! In fact. if you are in your head when you have sex or dance you will often be second guessing what you are doing – ‘How do I look right now? Is my partner enjoying this? Am I taking too long?’

If you are in your head, you are thinking (or worrying) about your experience rather than truly living in.

Being in your body helps you FEEL your experience. It allows you to open to pleasure, joy, passion or excitement.

One of the easiest ways to be in your body is to tune into your senses -

What do I feel, taste, hear, smell or see?

You can check in with your senses throughout the day or really focus on them when you are in your head but want to be in your body (this is a great tool to use during sex!)

Being in your body is a key ingredient for unbridled joy and great sex. It’s something that I’ve talked about at length in my Sensuous Woman Facebook group. If you would like to be part of a community with other women who are tuning in to pleasure, joy, self-care and sensuality, please join my private Facebook group.

Filed under: Body-Image, Desire, Joy, Pleasure, Self-care, Self-love, Sensuality, health — admin @ 9:23 am

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