Archive: Spirituality

February 5, 2014

Living isn’t for the faint of heart

This beautiful traveling altar was sent to me by a wonderful supporter and someone who recognizes when I am "in it."

This beautiful traveling altar was sent to me by a wonderful supporter and someone who recognizes when I am "in it."

So many big things are happening. So many of us are IN IT! And sometimes it is hard.

Major changes, challenges, growth opportunities and struggles.

We are starting businesses, ending relationships, raising children, speaking out truths, saying goodbye to people we love, going back to school, struggling to pay our bills, giving up our dreams, grieving, choosing to have a baby, struggling to get pregnant, moving to places where we don’t know a soul, leaving places and people we love, hearing bad news, receiving life altering diagnoses or prognoses and wondering, what is the point of it all?

We are taking risks and sometimes falling and standing again and trying.

We are flourishing.

We are saying yes to love, laughing with our heads thrown back and our mouths wide open, receiving touch and warmth and connection, dancing with our arms out and our hips swaying, making love and calling out our pleasure, loving our bodies and shaking off shame.

And sometimes we aren’t.

Sometimes our heart is breaking. Sometimes we are crying on the bathroom floor. Or sometimes we wish we could be crumpled on the bathroom floor, but there are mouths to feed or floors to wash or other tears that need to be dried. Sometimes we are stuck in shame, unable to be seen or see ourselves, wishing we could just disappear…sometimes forever.

Oh man, this stuff is hard.

Oh man, this life can be hard…and wonderful…and glorious…and hard.

Sometimes the joy is so big we feel guilty. Sometimes we worry that it will all be taken away…there is too much good and when other people are hurting it feels uncomfortable to have too much good. Sometimes we feel like we need to pay for the good or earn the good or even things out a bit. We worry we are undeserving…we don’t enjoy this moment because we think about how awful it will feel when it’s gone.

Living isn’t for the faint of heart.

But what are our choices?

We live and feel it all…the up the down…the high the low…the lovely the miserable…the ecstasy and the brutally hard –- or we shut down, we numb out, we self-medicate, we build walls, we close up, we push away, we turn inside out, we give up.

When you close to pain, you close to joy. When you numb the hurt you numb the bliss. When you avoid heartache, you avoid heart-opening.

It’s a bitter truth, eh?

You have a choice. Neither is easy. Life isn’t easy. And truly living isn’t for the faint of heart.


November 22, 2013

Sex is More Than Physical

spirtual sex

What does sex feel like?

Passionate

Hot

Tender

Loving

Sticky

Disappointing

Boring

Fast

Slow

What are you yearning for?

Something softer

Something harder

Something deeper

Something kinkier

What role does sex fill?

Connecting

Sharing love

Getting off

Distraction

Duty

Release

People have sex for different reasons.  People want different things from sex. For some people sex is really casual and for others it is something serious or precious. While sex involves our bodies and is physical, it can also be more than that.  Sex can be more than physical.

What does that even mean?

Sex can be a way to express, feel or share love.

Sex can be emotional.

Sex can be spiritual.

Sex can be vulnerable.

Sex can be an energy exchange.

What do you want from your sex?

Next week Pixie Campbell and I start our 3-week exploration of sex and the 2nd chakra.  Tomorrow is the last day to sign up for Woman is a River: Transform Your Sexual MythologyIf you want more options for your sex, if you want more information about sex and your 2nd chakra, if you are ready for your sex to more than physical – this class is for you!

Filed under: Class,Intimacy,Sexuality,Spirituality — admin @ 1:08 pm

August 1, 2013

Be Present

Photo by Beth Martin

Photo by Beth Martin

Today I was driving to a massage and I was stopped at an abnormally long red light.  I felt a flash of panic and thought, ‘I should be doing something!’

I could be replying to email or sending a text or checking facebook or getting ready for my daughter’s birthday.  And then I remembered, ‘I am doing something, I’m driving!’  And I stopped and I took a breath and I asked myself to be present.  Nothing extraordinary happened.  I looked around and saw a gas station and a Plaid Pantry and some people waiting for a bus.  I watched the overcast sky and waited for the light to change.

At my massage, I found my mind filling with all the things I could be doing, the things I NEED to do.  I started writing a blog post in my head, I thought about my shopping list and what I was doing after my massage.  And then I stopped and invited myself to really feel my massage.  I realized if I let my mind wander the 90 minutes would pass and I wouldn’t remember a thing.  My to-do list would be the same size and I wouldn’t have enjoyed my massage.  I felt my massage therapists hands working on my knots and stretching my muscles.  I listened to the music.  I took in the scent of the lotion.

I was present.

And it was lovely.

And then my mind would wander and then I would catch myself and come back to my massage.

Do you find yourself checking email while you are watching a movie?  Are you scrolling through facebook while your partner talks about his day?  Are you planning your weekly menu at your kid’s soccer game?  Are you thinking about work while making love to your mate?

I know that life is busy and there are times we NEED to multitask.  I also realize that sometimes multitasking is a distraction.  Sometimes multitasking keeps us from being present.  And sometimes being present is scary.

If we are truly present than we may feel things that are yucky or painful or embarrassing or hard. If we are truly present, we may realize there are parts of our lives that no longer fit or limit us or just don’t feel authentic.  If we are truly present and we limit distraction, we really see what is going on.  And that can be hard and it can be wonderful!

If we are truly present we can experience our pleasure, our joy, our elation, our bliss.

Life is rarely all good or all bad, all hard or all easy.  When we are present, we make room for all of it.  That can be complicated…and it can be wonderful.  It can be very full.

What are you missing by not being present?

The above photo was taken by my sister.  She might have missed out on that incredible sky if she wasn’t paying attention.

Being present doesn’t mean making your mind blank or meditating or not doing the things you need to do.  It means noticing, breathing, looking, connecting.

Can you take a moment right now (or later in your day) to be present in your life? Can you offer your partner your presence?  Can you stop and feel all of your feelings?

Let yourself really open up to your life…all of it!

If you are struggling with being present during sex, you may find THIS helpful.

Filed under: Gratitude,Spirituality,Vulnerability — admin @ 4:04 pm

December 23, 2011

It Is All About Connection

Making a wish at the Portland Grotto 2010

Making a wish at the Portland Grotto 2010

When I think about my very favorite parts of this time of year, it’s all about connection. Whether I think of the time building up to the big event, or I picture Christmas morning with my family, my favorite part is connecting.

  • Connecting with family or friends.
  • Connecting with traditions and rituals.
  • Connecting with spirit.
  • Connecting with faith or beliefs.
  • Connecting with self.
  • Connecting with music.
  • Connecting with feelings or emotions.
  • Connecting with childlike wonder or excitement.
  • Connecting with food, festivities and frivolity.
  • Connecting with hopes, desires and dreams.
  • Connecting with history, memories and seasons past.
  • Connecting with Pleasure!

What (or who) are you connecting with?

Wishing a very Happy Holiday season to you and yours.  May you feel connected, loved and valuable.

Filed under: Emotions,Family,Holidays,Love,Relationship,Self-love,Spirituality — admin @ 12:05 pm

June 3, 2011

Religion and Sexuality

Notre Dame

Notre Dame – one of the most famous cathedrals in the world.  The other day I climbed the 400 steps to the towers for the very first time.  The view was incredible!

view from Notre Dame

I started to think of the art, the architecture and the history!

ND Gargoyle small

I also thought about the roles religion and sexuality play in our lives.  I made another Video Postcard from Paris to talk about those very topics.

I plan to explore religion and sexuality more fully in the future.  So often these topics are not placed in the same arena (let alone the same sentence!)

Filed under: Paris,Sexuality,Spirituality,Video — admin @ 10:17 pm

May 26, 2011

Sacred Sex and the Sacre-Coeur

Video #2 in my Video Postcards from Paris series.

How can you make your sex more sacred?  Watch the video for a few simple tips to deepen your connection with yourself and your partner.


Another way to make your sex more spiritual or sacred is to add some ritual. Take a shower or bath with your partner before making love. Bring in a certain scent or some candles. Have a special playlist or song that signifies your special time together. Do something special to create an environment or a mindset that is all about you and your lover.

For more tips about sex and to learn more about my Paris adventures, connect with me on facebook or twitter.

Filed under: Intimacy,Paris,Ritual,Sexuality,Spirituality,Video — admin @ 10:00 am