Archive: Video

June 21, 2016

Treat Your Partner Like Your Lover

I know things don’t feel the same as they did when you first started your relationship. As time goes on, relationships change. They change in many wonderful ways, and sometimes they feel less exciting, less intimate, less sexy.

I made a three-minute video talking about one small way you can shift your relationship.

Take a moment. Imagine you were preparing for your lover. How would you proceed? How would your routine change? How would your energy change? How would your intention or perception shift?

Our language is powerful. How you talk about your relationship or your partner, can affect how you feel. What you call your partner, lover, spouse, mate, beloved, significant other, or better half can influence how you feel about them.

Try it.

For a week, a weekend or even day, treat your partner like you would treat your lover. Notice how you feel and notice how your lover responds to you.

Valentine Couple

If you would like 6 more tips to help you prioritize your relationship (and sex) get my free 6-page guide to help you reclaim your sex life!

June 12, 2015

Let’s Go To Paris!

I am so excited about a very special retreat I’m planning for 2016!

Subscribe to my newsletter so you will be the first to know all of the details when registration opens.

Filed under: Paris,Pleasure,Retreat,Sensuality,Video,Women — admin @ 4:48 pm

May 24, 2014

My Parisian Affair!

rodin affair

Are you feeling stuck, uninspired or disconnected from who you are?  Do you think a relationship with a new person will help?

What lights you up?

What helps you reconnect to who you are?

Filed under: Live Your Best Life,Paris,Relationship,Romance,Self-love,Video — admin @ 11:40 am

February 27, 2014

An Invitation to Communicate

Julie Jeske Healthy U

I am so honored to have been invited to speak as part of Portland State University’s Healthy U Wellness Challenge. I was asked to talk about the importance of communication and sex. Yahoo!  I LOVE that sex and communication were a part of a health challenge!

They recorded my talk and it is available if you would like to learn more about the importance of sexual communication and some tips on how to talk about sex.

You can view “An Invitation to Communicate” Here.

For more help talking about sex, check out “Talking About Sex is Sexual Intimacy.”

Filed under: Communication,health,Sexuality,Video — admin @ 9:11 am

June 30, 2013

What happens when women make more money than men?

According to a recent study, women are the breadwinners in nearly 1 in 4 homes.  This information caused quite a stir as talk shows, online articles and the media all tried to dissect what this means for families (and relationships).  I was interviewed about the topic (and what it’s like to be the breadwinner for my family) for a KGW segment, you can see here.

Some of the research suggests that women earning more, can negatively impact their male partners.  This article describes ways men’s health may suffer if their wives earn more (including stress, anxiety and even erectile dysfunction).  While I have seen some men who aren’t comfortable earning less than their mates (this article reports that men who make significantly less than their partners are more likely to cheat), I think we are underestimating men.  Or maybe underestimating relationships and partnerships.

The world is changing, gender roles are changing, relationships are changing, life is changing.  In the past, men and woman had more clearly defined roles in heterosexual relationships.  Men provided financially or provided security and safety.  Women took care of the home and children (though I think we all know of exceptions to this even from past generations – grandmothers who worked because grandfathers were injured or absent, etc).  Now both partners may work (so then who takes care of the home or the children?  and what about couples who don’t have children?) As the world changes, how can we adapt?

If men used to provide financially, how can they “provide” even if they make less money?  What can they provide?

As women juggle work and children and a partner and a home…how can they also attend to themselves?

What are the roles in your relationship? Do you split household chores?  Do you co-parent?  Do you share financial responsibilities?

If your role has changed, what gives you value in your life?  If you used to be the breadwinner and now you aren’t, how do you still feel important?  What do you contribute?  From where do you get your worth?

There isn’t a “perfect” formula for every relationship or every family.  Relationships are deeply personal and not one-size-fits-all.  So what works best for you?  And if things are working, what are you doing to do to make them work?

Filed under: Marriage,Relationship,Video,Women — admin @ 8:06 pm

October 30, 2012

Can you change your partner?

Do you want your partner to change?

I often hear from people who are wishing their partner would change in some way.

Maybe they want more romance, more help around the house, more passion, more confidence.  Maybe they want less fighting, less criticism, less anger, less disappointment.

We talked about this topic on KOIN Studio6. Mackenzie Phillips was a special guest for the segment.

Is it possible to change your partner?

Some people think they can if they nag or pester enough.  Some people partner and then think, ‘If I hold out long enough, he could become the person I want him to be.’

Change is hard.  It’s hard enough to change personally…but trying to get another person to change is nearly impossible.  Someone really has to want that change (and then it’s still hard).  It can help to focus on behaviors rather than personal traits (i.e. “I would love it if you could take the garbage out each week” rather than, “Stop being so lazy!”).

You CAN change the way you experience your partner.  You CAN change your expectations.  You CAN learn to accept your partner (ALL of him/her).  Change is hard (if it wasn’t then there wouldn’t be any unhealthy habits or situations in the world).  It’s much easier to focus on your life and your situation rather than trying to change another person.  If you find yourself in a frustrating situation, ask yourself, “How can I make this better?” rather than waiting on someone else.

Filed under: Change,Relationship,Video — admin @ 5:58 pm

September 15, 2012

Learning Your Partner’s Love Language

Do you feel loved and appreciated in your relationship?

How do you show your partner love?

It’s not uncommon for people to express love differently.

For example – Eddie might feel loved when Susan plans a date night or an overnight get-away.  Susan might feel loved when Eddie compliments her or tells her how much she means to him.  At times they might feel like they aren’t loved or it might feel like they are disconnected.  Knowing how you feel love and how your partner experiences (and expresses) love can really help you both feel satisfied.

Watch this video from one of my appearances on Studio6 to learn more about the different languages of love.  (I even explain a fun exercise that you can do at home to help you and your partner feel loved and appreciated).

Filed under: Communication,Love,Relationship,Video — admin @ 4:22 pm

August 15, 2012

Make Your New Relationship Work!

The honeymoon phase…that ooey-gooey, lovey-dovey phase that so many couples remember fondly.  For some people the beginning of a relationship isn’t so blissful. They worry about doing something that will blow it and end the relationship.  They try to figure out what they need to do or how they need to be to make the relationship last.  There are books and magazine articles dedicated to helping you “get your guy.”  There are step by step instructions on how to date any girl you want or turn your boyfriend into your husband.

I’m not a fan of “rules” or “guidelines” when it comes to dating.  I’m not a fan of pretending to be someone in order to get a relationship (I mean what do you do once you get the relationship and it doesn’t match up with who you really are???).  There are some things to keep in mind when you are dating.  I sat down with the ladies at KOIN Studio6 to talk about some New Relationship Dos and Don’ts.

You won’t find any “tricks” or “traps” here.  The most important way to actually make your relationship work is to be clear about what you want in a relationship and really show up as you are.  Be yourself!  If you pretend to be someone else, are you really in the relationship?  And what happens when one day you get tired of pretending?  If your new guy or gal doesn’t like you as you are, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. Once you’ve established your relationship, there are all sorts of things you can do to make your relationship work.  Set yourself up for success by starting your relationship based on honesty.

Looking for more ways to focus on your relationship – check out these posts.

Negotiate with your partner.

How much work should you put into your relationship?

Make your relationship a priority.

Validate your partner.

Filed under: Dating,Relationship,Video — admin @ 8:24 am

July 31, 2012

Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

long distance relationshipDo long distance relationships work?

Ask 10 people and you will get 10 different responses.

One thing most people can agree on is that long distance relationships are hard.  All relationships take work. All relationships can be hard at times.

Here are some of the potential difficulties in a long distance relationship.

  • Feeling lonely
  • If you have a “bad” conversation it can feel like you have a “bad” relationship
  • Missing out on romance
  • Lack of physical intimacy
  • Potential for more jealousy (especially if you haven’t met your partner’s friends or have a hard time getting a hold of him/her)
  • Not feeling like a priority

And here are some of the perks of a long distance relationship

  • Dates can feel like mini vacations
  • Lots of passion when you do reconnect
  • Some long distance couples communicate often and get used to sharing information intimately
  • If your partner is romantic you may get letters or gifts in the mail
  • Technology makes it easier than ever to connect over the miles

Do long distance relationships work? This is not a question I can answer with a yes or no – it depends.  Here is a segment we did on KOIN Studio 6 about this very topic.

Even if your long distance relationship lasts, it could be a difficult transition when you finally live in the same place. But hey, all of the obstacles we face inform who we become.  If you and your partner can overcome distance than you may find you can overcome most other obstacles too!

Filed under: Communication,Relationship,Video — admin @ 2:05 pm

July 25, 2012

The Best First Date Locations

Do you remember your first date with your partner?  Where is was.  What you did (or ate).  How you felt.  Has your first date become a special part of the story of how the two of you got together?

Are you single and in the dating scene?  Do you have a special place you like to take new people?  Or do you dread the question “Where should we go?” when you are making plans with a potential mate?

I was interviewed by KGW about a poll that listed the Top 10 Portland First Date DestinationsYou can watch the video here.  If dinner and a movie feels a little stale, you can always find fun, new things to do (whether it’s your first or your 100th date)!

I would love to hear about your favorite first date locations. Head on over to my facebook page and share your stories or tips!

Filed under: Dating,Relationship,Video — admin @ 10:18 am

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