Tending a Broken Heart
The loss of a relationship, a job, friendship, a dream, a loved one, etc can be so painful!
It’s easy to want to shut down the pain or numb the experience. It’s easy to want to skip this part. It’s easy to want things to go back to the way they were before you felt this way.
We don’t always feel the growth or the expansion when we are in it. Sometimes the learning or the evolution is more obvious later…after we’ve moved through the pain. And in order to get there, we do have to move through the pain.
If you are finding yourself with a broken or tender heart, here are some things that may help.
Shutting down, disconnecting, or pretending you aren’t in pain doesn’t actually initiate healing…you may feel temporary relief, but the pain becomes encapsulated and continues to live in your body
Feel your feelings
again and again
Do things that are good for you
move your body
take a bath
drink water
Get support
Be honest about your hurting
Let your people wrap you up in love and comfort
Check your stories
Don’t romanticize
Don’t villainize
Take accountability for your part
Get clear about what you want to bring with you and what you want to leave behind
Set some boundaries
You may have to change habits as you heal.
What do you need in terms of space?
What do you need in terms of time?
Be gentle with yourself.
Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love
Be patient
It’s hard. I know.
Remember that this part is temporary.
And necessary
This part will lead to the next part.
And the next part is going to be LOVELY!
PS – if you are going through a breakup, our Swoon Episode – Breaking up is hard to do:Breakup Recovery may help.
About the author
Julie Jeske, LPC is a sex and relationship counselor. She has a private practice where she helps clients increase intimacy, ignite passion, and deepen their connection to themselves and others.
Julie especially loves to help women discover who they are sexually. Through counseling, online classes, or in-person retreats; her clients learn how to talk about their sexual and relationship desires, and explore ways to make them a reality.
Join her membership community, Love Lessons, listen to her weekly podcast, Swoon, or meet her on instagram.
